a journal of the one man revolution

very belated

2009-01-13T13:12:00.000-08:00

It would seem that I've been away from this blog for a lot longer than I had originally planned.

A lot's happened mostly just being caught up in the married life, but also I got work on a website, it's an online support community for people with mental illness. I'm waiting on the very final version of my CD and planning the next one. I started and then neglected a blog for wedding and honeymoon photos and I got a patronage as a musician, I get money enough for my wife and I to live on and a work space provided that I am making and recording music. It's pretty exciting and a real morale boost to know that someone out there believes enough in my music that they'd pony up that kind of cash.

I went looking at a studio space yesterday in East Van and it looked good it was already sound proofed and seemed a reasonable rent. I'm still looking but nothing else has really come up in the past couple of days It would be nice to set up in a place with more direct light but anywhere else would need to be soundproofed and well lets just wait and see how things turn out.

Right now I've got to go and get some work done hopefully I'll have more to say soon... as in sooner than the last time I said anything like that.

Hey Guess What...

2008-08-31T21:22:00.001-07:00

I'm still here

2008-07-29T00:26:00.000-07:00

I just thought I'd post here to re-affirm that I'm not going to let this blog lay fallow. I was going to write a different post but a public blog is not the right place for it. maybe I should start keeping a journal again?

I said it and now I did it!

2008-07-09T03:33:00.000-07:00

So you know how a couple of posts ago I said I might move to a new location with more specifically musical intentions...

well I just started that new blog here I plan on keeping this one up but I'm not certain if or how often I'll be updating it. I'll probably keep posting here occasionally since there's advantage to having a personal blog but only time will tell.

ok so go to http://wiresource.blogspot.com/ and tell everyone you know to go there too. Also if you have electronic musical instruments that you want reviewed send them to me and I'll review them.

Also, give me all your money.

Shut That Fucking Music Off!

2008-07-07T01:48:00.000-07:00

Honestly I'm surprised that it's taken so long for anyone to complain. I was having a great old time with the MS20 and Sr. Vikki knocked on my door and asked if I had heard a shout I told her I hadn't and she said that she had heard someone shout "shut that fucking music off!" from somewhere outside.

Again, I'm surprised that it's taken so long, sometimes when I'm programming I get tranced out and then it's dawn and I can't keep going any longer because my body's given out I can't tell you how often that's happened but I know it's not irregular or abnormal for me especially when I've had too much coffee or red bull. Anyway the shout happened at midnight so I'm going to just take the message to heart and be grateful that I had so many good months of late night analog jams.

Also I've just discovered another music blog which has been very interesting to read go here and tell everyone else you know to go here too.

Also I have been discovering the BBC Radiophonic Workshop and playing with Garageband. I heart Radiophonic music. Also Hugh LeCaine. And Don Buchla

Delia Derbyshire is really awsome

2008-07-07T01:47:00.000-07:00

steam punk modular synth??!?!

2008-07-02T20:58:00.001-07:00

I can feel a change in the air

2008-06-26T01:23:00.000-07:00

I've been giving this a lot of thought lately and I've decided to put an end to "The Journal of the One Man Revolution" at least in it's current incarnation. I haven't done anything with this blog that I had intended when I moved off of Live Journal. That's not to say I've done nothing I set out to. Since starting this blog I've gone on to do wonderful stuff at The Christian Radical Blog and my spiritual life is far from being at a stand still.

I guess that the thing is that I'm not much of a personal blogger. I don't use this as an actual journal and I rarely keep one on paper I have hangups about recording long pieces of my life in that way which I'll spare you. Also as you know I've gone from occasionally ranting about my life to constantly ranting about synth gear, electronic music and wanting more synth gear.

I'm nearing a personal goal of having the money to buy something modular for my rig and what I hope will begin a long but exciting process not only of accumulating new modules to create a truly portable and extremly versatile synth of my own but also to compliment the mini studio I've started in my room.

I've also become aware of how little time I've been devoting to other things in my life, specifically my guitar. When I began to learn subtractive synthesis and the MS20 I hoped to integrate the two disciplines but in the past few months synthesis has overtaken my guitar to the point where I need to devote a lot of time to get back what I've started to loose both in calluses and in practice.

Also Sumer is here and that means busking is possible and I want to do it.

This I suppose is tangential but it has a point and the point is that with the Christian Radical in both blog and zine form taking on average an hour and a half every day and a webcomic which needs updating every day and a hankering to make musical noise and write about it I'm changing the nature, name and look of this blog very soon. I've got a name and I've got some ideas for what I hope to do with it but you can be assured that it's going to be music oriented and casualy updated, essentially when I have things to write about and things to post.

I need a couple of days to figure out how to make the requisite changes here and whether or not to change the URL as well as the title and look of the blog. We'll see soon enough. For now I'm just writing to express my intentions, I'm not sure if anyone other than my mom and occasionally a hand full of my friends read this site to begin with but in case you are a regular reader and come here one day to discover that it's no longer the same place I hope you won't be disappointed, and I hope you stick around.

The nature of every revolution is change, like a fire which takes out all the dead wood in the forest and creates nurse logs for the seedlings to be born out of. In the all consuming spirit of this one man revolution I'll be burning this old blog out with the hope of birthing something new from its ashes.

And now for some robots playing rock music

keytars rule also modular indecision time 2008

2008-06-19T01:15:00.000-07:00

So I just found this on youtube and thought I'd share the love.

Speaking of love and the sharing of it I got me my MS20 and SQ10 back from the shop all restored and re-capped and tuned up and ready for action. created a bad-ass sounding patch with the sequencer and then I had to go to work. I am having a lot of fun with the newly restored External Signal Processor though I plugged tablebeast into it and circuit-bent my synth it sounded much nicer through the MS20 than through the Evolver. I also patched my portasound through it and have been experimenting with that too. I'm so happy to have my whole set-up back it makes me feel all awesome inside.

On a related note (no pun intended) I'm weighing my options as far as new modular equipment goes. Richard at Backline has an MOTM synthesizer that he wants to sell for 9 grand. I don't have that much but I do have three grand I've been saving for this very sort of thing. In a couple of weeks I will be able to afford a 22 space dotcom synthesizer (they make updated moog-style modular stuff) or I could go into debt and put it down on the MOTM. I suspect I'm getting ahead of myself and I'll only know how I feel about all this after playing the MOTM for myself and thinking further. I've known about this particular synth for sale for some months now and seeing as it's the owner of Backline's synthesizer I feel a lot more certain that I would get exactly what I paid for (a fully functioning modular synth with all modern modules in a 44space cabinet with another empty cabinet on to for later expansion and a whole shit load of patch cords). I don't suspect this would be a bad deal the question is more about wether I can pay it off in a reasonable time and whether I want to go into debt. a 22space dotcom isn't a bad start at all but next to this one it feels kind of like a compromise, there's also the added bonus of not having to pay shipping, duty, and freight costs and I could take it home that day instead of waiting 6 to 8 weeks for it to come up from Texas. Well, I'll be going to Backline on Saturday to try it out and find out how much Richard would want each month in payment I will suspect that he will want more than I could afford anyway but the thing is there and I would cream myself to have it so I've got nothing to loose for trying.

If ever there were a reason to boycott Ray Kurzweil's musical instruments

2008-06-13T02:01:00.000-07:00

this would be it

When I first heard about Ray Kurzweil it was in connection with his work in voice synthesis, he created a whole lot of really innovative software that emulated the human voice better than anything before. If it hadn't been for this man millions of illiterate people would be incapable of using computers, if it weren't for this man's work Stephen Hawking would have no voice. My family bought his reading software many years ago and I used it to sample computers reading stuff for my music concrete.

I later learned about his bizarre yet understandable wish to live long enough to live forever when his book The Singularity is Near: When Humans Transcend Biology came out after readng a review I became somewhat further endeared because I have a fondness for mad scientists. But learning about his wholesale support for weapons technology and pre-emptive military doctrine have soured me about this guy.

It irks me that a man so ingenious as to do groundbreaking work in reading software for illiterate kids and also some of the meanest looking rack mounted synths on the market would be so gung ho about killing people. It's like finding out Santaclause exists but he's a serial rapist in his spare time.

Ok so that's hyperbole but I hope you see where I'm coming from.

anyway for the handfull of people interested enough in this blog to keep reading it since it became mostly about synthesizers the hypertext at the top may be of some interest. I kind of think it would be cool if some people in electronic music and production were to start a boycott of this man's tech but at the same time I am fully aware that it's wishful thinking on my part and it's not like I could have ever afforded anything of his first hand to begin with. Besides, I don't like the aesthetic of his keyboards and I don't really do rack mounted gear.

what I've been talking about

2008-06-11T02:12:00.000-07:00

It occurred to me that I never posted anything about what an FB01 is or how I got it. I picked this up from the same pawn shop I got the REX50 from and it sort of sat on my amplifier looking sad with nothing but a soon-to-be-out-of-my-life prophet 600 to trigger it. I liked the sounds but didn't really know what to do with it until someone at the synthesizers.com forum hinted at how to use the Evolver as a midi trigger. I gave it a try and after a couple of false starts and a look over the instruction manual I brought it to life.

The FB-01 is simply an inexpensive, 8 part multitimbral digital FM synth module. It's only a 4-operator synth which is less than, say a DX-7. This simply means its sounds are not quite as good. You will need an external MIDI system exclusive editor to edit the patches. This can be accomplished by a dedicated editor program like Unisyn, or by creating SysEx control messages within your sequencing program. The FB-01 has a lot of organ, piano, brass, bass, guitar, percussion, and lead sounds. Basically this is a good source of typical FM-sounds at a low price. It is used by Hardfloor and Moog Cookbook.

taken from vintage synth explorer

tablebeast: the source of uncertainty

2008-06-10T23:32:00.000-07:00

Been rocking the tablebeast today with the Evolver as backing

this thing shreds but in some very unpredictable ways. I've been trying to suss out the verious bends inside the patch bay. I figure that it can't be totally random inside, and I think I'm right. The dude who made this thing has in fact wired certain sections to different levels of the patch bay, for instance drum sounds are predominantly on the upper two or three rows of RCA jacks while keyboard function and malfunction are the middle and I think that sampling is the bottom but it's too early to be certain.

This thing ought to have been called the tablebeats because of the badass casio drum tracks it can lay down and believe me it loves to lay this shit down. I'll be patching on some piano riff and it will just automatically trigger the drum machine some how and you can get it to do all sorts of complicated patterns and fills just by moving the RCA cables around. I almost want to sell my drum machine.

(time lapse 3 1/2 hours later)

I've been at it some more. Tablebeast is best heard solo so far anyway. I put it through the Evolver and used the midi out to sequence some rhythm with my FB01 (it's wicked good at chiming sounds and clashing sounds also the strings aren't that bad).

Anyway running the tablebeast trough the Evolver's filter section didn't do too much for it except muddy the sounds and bends. I had a couple patches which sounded like evil laughter but in the end it was very difficult to tell what was Evolver noise and what was the tablebeast. In the end I plugged it back into it's own input and played around on it while the evolver interfaced with the FB01. I will probably post more about all this when I get my MS20 back I'll write up something about tablebeast and co. once I've been able to run them through the signal processor on that. I am hoping that I can get it to really effect the korg hardcore.

correction

2008-06-10T23:31:00.000-07:00

the Cabaret Voltaire stuff I mentioned was done in 1974 not 1978 sorry for the confusion.

I never thought I'd see the day when I thought Furby's were cool

2008-06-10T23:28:00.000-07:00

Each furby has 4 controls: mute, crash, loop and reset. The handle turns 8 cams which operate corresponding microswitches to create interesting rhythmic patterns. Part of the 'setting up' section at the beginning has been fast forwarded.

humble beginnings or noisy disturbance... maybe a little of both?

2008-06-09T02:46:00.000-07:00

Got together with James tonight and had a Desolation Sound jam. It was really awsome and sort of reminded me of disk 1 of the Cabaret Voltaire Attic Tapes box set. The stuff from 1978 when they were basically just playing around running clarinets through an AKS Synthi and reading into a vocoder. James ran his electric mandolin through my Evolver while it triggered the FB01 and I played accompaniment on my Yamaha Portasound and REX50. Also I added a new piece to my burgeoning studio, I bought a circuit bent Cassio. It was bent by this dude who did one exactly like it for Trent Reznor. It looks like this: The thing's called a Tablebeast and it's basically a mini cassio sampling keyboard like the kind that the guys at homestarruner.com use to make their cartoon music, only this thing has a lot of ways to re-wire it using RCA cables. This thing is great, it can lay down some wicked cassio beats and wreak havoc with short samples from tape and the sound engine in this thing does much more convincing emulations than my Portasound. I never really thought much of these little cassio guys until I playe this one un-patched (it almost sounds like the things it's supposed to. Unlike the Yamaha which couldn't make a convincing piano sound to save the universe. I might try and do a simmilar set of bends to that one some day, for now I'm having fun ripping up noise with the tablebeast. I'm expecting to get my MS20 out of Backline soon and when I do I'm going to have a blast seeing all the different ways I can interface and program things.

I'm still saving for a modular system but I'm going to start with one that's about a quarter of the size of the one I'd like, partially because it's less overwhelming to learn how to patch 22 spaces of modules than 88, and also because I could afford a 22 space system in a couple of months (like maybe two at the most) while buying anything larger would mean waiting a lot longer. Also everyone I've talked to who knows about this sort of thing has told me that this is the way to do it, start small and expand based on budget and need. Besides a portable 22 is way more gig-able than a portable 88 and much more size friendly too. I'm really stoked on what James and I were doing and I'm looking forward to next thursday afternoon when we're going to do it some more. I'll post more about my tablebeast as I learn to do more with it.

Maybe one day I'll turn into one of those synthesizer geeks who make videos of themselves rocking their gear and post it to youtube...

It's Alive!!!

2008-06-07T22:38:00.000-07:00

Tonight I figured out how to trigger the FB01 with my Evolver! I know that might not seem very impressive to you but it's damn awesome to me. This means I can use it without digging around to find my midi keyboard and it also means that I can use the Evolver to trigger other things (like a modular system).

Bo Diddley December 30, 1928 - June 2, 2008 RIP

2008-06-03T19:49:00.000-07:00

The Times Online
June 3, 2008

“I don’t sound like nobody!” was Bo Diddley’s maxim in the 1950s, but over the decades dozens have tried to sound like him. Often imitated but not always acknowledged, the influence of the Bo Diddley beat — driving and relentless like the chant of a chain gang — is heard clearest and most famously on the Rolling Stones’ Not Fade Away. But that sound, which Bo Diddley called his “tradesman’s knock”, is just as discernible on U2’s Desire, or versions of the garage classic I Want Candy recorded by the Strangeloves and Bow Wow Wow two decades apart, or on George Michael’s Faith.

Elvis Presley and Chuck Berry aside, arguably none of the first generation of American rock’n’rollers had a greater impact on the subsequent course of popular music. Along with Berry, Diddley was also one of the first black performers to “cross over” and enjoy success in the predominantly white pop chart of the time. Among the classic singles to his name, all driven by the primitive but irresistible beat he likened to a freight train, were Diddy Wah Diddy, Who Do You Love?, Mona, You Can’t Judge a Book by Looking at its Cover, Road Runner and Say Man. The latter gave him his biggest American hit, but he also had a huge influence on the British beat boom of the 1960s. In addition to the Rolling Stones, those who covered his songs included the Kinks, the Animals, Manfred Mann and the Yardbirds, while the Pretty Things named themselves after one of his songs.

Bo Diddley, rock’n’roll singer, songwriter and guitarist, was born on December 30, 1928. He died on June 2, 2008, aged 79

read the whole article here

Jean Michel Basquiat

2008-06-03T15:40:00.001-07:00

best concert ever

2008-06-03T00:46:00.000-07:00

Oh shit I saw Joan of Arc tonight and it was one of the best live music events of my whole life. I've been waiting for these guys to come to Vancouver since they released The Gap back in 2002 I hope someone put stuff on youtube because that was amazing.

I think it made my week.

Disambiguation

2008-05-27T02:51:00.000-07:00

in order to be more original and therefore funnier I have decided to make everyone who I presume reads my daily web comic update their book marks with no notice what-so-ever.

if you want to keep reading my daily attempts at humour (that's right humour is spelled with a U) you'll have to go to this domain and change your book marks.

grey sunny day redacted

2008-05-25T15:09:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling in better spirits today and since my now deleted post I've thought better of myself for letting this upset me so much. Yes I want that synth, yes it'll take me more than a year if I have to buy it brand new and yes it can do everything I want it to (I should have said want rather than need in my previous post because the stuff I have already does everything I need it to do. My present situation is far from inadequate).

Anyway It's another amazing day and instead of sitting inside and bemoaning my financial situation I'm going to go out and enjoy myself. By yesterday evening the thing which depresed me the most wasn't my lack of funds, it was that I had wasted such a beautiful day indoors because I was making myself depressed.

I'm not going to do that today.

Yamaha REX 50 it's digital!

2008-05-24T02:22:00.000-07:00

I had a pretty good pawnshop score today. I picked up a Yamaha REX 50 effects processor for $75.00 I plugged it into my polysynth (I have a weathered looking Portasound) and it's taken the cheezy discount synthesizer sounds of my keyboard and given them some much needed depth and bite. Also it looks like something New Order would have used and that thought makes me glow inside.

continuing to explore the Evolver and discovering some nice hidden things in some of the presets, you don't have to do too much to get them to sound more dynamic and it's hours of fun.

As for my Korg stuff it's still in the shop. I called Backline today to find out when it would be done and one of them is waiting on some parts. I'm not surprised VCO 2 and the KBD interface were always a bit buggy and I think there was a problem with the signal processor on it. I'm not expecting it will be very cheap if they had to order parts but I am very attached to my MS20 and Sequencer, I really think that as far as non-modular analog synthesizers go the MS20 is in a class all it's own and really represents the peak of Korg as a company. Compared to the MS2000 Analog Modeling synth and the Kaoscillator they are really more in the business of making expensive trinkets instead of really hard core and quality gear. Sure the original Kaos Pad is sweet but it's nothing to the MS line.

night of the vampire

2008-05-21T23:31:00.001-07:00

too much coffee man

2008-05-21T22:27:00.000-07:00

I've had too much coffee today, it only hit me now after finally getting some supper in me. I had my customary morning cup then about 7 I had a cup with a shot of espresso in it and now I just had a little more than a half cup with dinner and I'm feeling groovy.

I've had an awesome day!

Woke up had breakfast and updated the Christian Radical Blog and checked e-mails. Last night I found I had recieved some books in the mail from a comrade in the US and that was cool. I had a shower in Samaritan House's brand new shower stall and overhead fixture! it looks DIY because it is and it has the best settings, so much better than when it would hit my back and I'd have to do some minor yoga to wash my hair.

I have been on this diet for the past month and a bit and it's really beginning to show :)

Met one of the people I'll soon be working with at Tanglewood (I start in the first Saturday in June) and made arrangements for more studio time to put the last bit of work on the Desolation Sound album and then I went thrifting.

I don't know how many people know this about me but I love thrifting. I bet you're sitting there thinking "what are you talking talking about now Chris, what's thrifting?"

Thrifting is when you go to thrift stores randomly looking for treasure. I swear by it, Value Village and the Sally Ann, Hospital thrift stores and St. Vincent De Paul are like crack in store-form. I've been on a mission for a good punk rock vest and the first thing I need is a thrashed up jacket to make it out of. I was looking for black Denim but no luck. I think I might have something which will do but that's another story I want to tell you about the Salvation Army thrift store on 12th just East of Main st.

THIS PLACE IS LIKE THE SALLY ANN MOTHER SHIP! They have a furniture outlet where they are selling upright pianos for $300 and they're not too bad either.

but the good stuff is in their "As Is Bargain Nook" or as the uninitiated might call it "the basement". They have everything that's cool in a thrift store junk bin but it's like five or six thrift store junk bins in one! the air is cool and pungent and full of the sound of many hands rifling through piles of things.

I used to imagine that there was a place where all the lost dryer socks and favourite tapes from Junior High go when they inexplicably disappear. I would imaging a subterranean world with piles of tapes and mounds of videos and boxes upon boxes of old He-Man toys anyway if such a place were to exist outside my fantasy world it would be a lot like the basement of this thrift store. I've lived in Vancouver for more than a decade now and this is the first time I've ever been to that store. I got so many awesome tapes for sampling and listening and I joy Yvonne something and I'm totally amped on this place. So far the only thrift store that's rivalled it for me is the Delta Hospital Thrift Store in Ladner and that's only because I got two Sony three channel Analog Mixers and a Pong Table there for under thirty bucks.

Seriously, glitchy Pong with a console the size and shape of a kitchen table it can't be beat, except maybe by table sized Galaga but that's not the thing you often see at thrift stores and still I look for it.

Thrifting is also useful if you know about books and what has re-sale value because you can often buy great books in good condition for a song and then sell them to used bookstores for a small profit, if you're only kind of good at this then you may end up with some books left over and enough money to break even so it helps to go for the kinds of books you'd like to have around.

I have a documentary about thrifting someplace it's really a whole counterculture thing. Unfortunatly there are all these boutique-vintage type places now where they basically go to the thrift stores, buy all the coolest shit in the place and sell it at their own stores for way too much. Imagine all the old Iron Maiden T-shirts and musty smelling Sweater Vests and rodeo belt buckles except they cost nearly as much used as they did new. I'm not a big fan of the 25 dollar second hand t-shirt. And this is why I love thrifting.

oh fuck yah!

2008-05-20T23:41:00.001-07:00

So I've been spending a lot of quality time with a Dave Smith Industries Evolver since my MS20 and SQ10 are in the shop having a checkup. and I've got to say that I've been programming some bad-ass music lately. The Evolver is the very first synthesizer I ever bought. I've owned an old Yamaha keyboard for years but I don't count it because I traded a book for it, this I actually bought. It's a tiny rectangular steel box with a row of knobs and another row of buttons and looks like this

it triggers itself with an 8/16 step sequencer and there's so much built into this thing that I really can't go into detail here but the Dave Smith Industries website will give you all the goods if you want to know about what this thing is capable of.

Some of the sequences I've made are so good that I can sit here and type this blog entry with it as background music and it sounds like it ought to be playing in a Goth Industrial club, seriously I could sample Interview With a Vampire and maybe some other dark stuff with this thing and it could be a full on industrial track.

This thing is so easy to play once you get used to the interface, it's all very intuitive: pick a row tweak knobs until you find something you like and repeat until you are ready to save it. The thing has four banks each with 128 spaces of memory so I could program 512 individual patches. The many of the factory presets are really something as well. It also has an internal signal processor so I could rout a guitar through it and there are 40 different ways I could get it to sound.

The thing is monophonic (can only play one note at a time) but Dave Smith has done some strange magic to it because it is waaaay more advanced than most classic monosynths. Part of it's appeal to me is that it doesn't require a keyboard, though it has full midi implementation
so I can (and have) plugged a midi controller into it before and used it like a regular synth but it's much more fun to program it with the built in sequencer. It also comes as a monosynth with it's own built in keyboard for an extra 500 dollars and there's a polyphonic version that has four voices (it can make up to four notes at once) but those are both too expensive and the added keyboard makes them impractical to me, I have enough keyboards in my life.

Two nights ago my friend James came over and we jammed out with electric mandolin the Evolver and my Yamaha being treated with a bunch of guitar pedals and it was the best jam I've had in about four years. I don't know if anybody who reads this blog is at all interested in synthesizers or making electronic music but if you are thinking about buying a musical instrument and have been thinking about analog synthesizers this one is far and away the one to buy. You can get a feel for it pretty easily, there's no special musical foreknowledge you need in order to make killer sounds and it costs a fraction of the cash that any other professional piece of gear does. (I bought mine on sale for $450.00 Canadian) And it comes with a power adapter that can fit plugs all over the world. (you could take it anywhere and it could fit in your carry on bag) . The thing is built like a tank and if you're anything like me, once you get used to the layout it's so much fun to play you'll want to spend hours with it.

Blacksploitation Vader and Van Damme pops a stiffy on Brazillian Television

2008-05-04T14:04:00.000-07:00

heheheheheh

what do you do with a cranky prophet?

2008-04-25T00:18:00.000-07:00

that really sounds like it ought to be the setup for a joke but if it's a joke it's totally on me.

Caveat Emptor is the phrase for the week... possibly the month. Depending on how much I have to shell out to get this thing working right.

by now you must be wondering what I'm on about.

I'm talking about an analog synthesizer. Oh no, the Korg I got for my birthday is working fine it's nearly perfect and the small instabillities in that one aren't enough for me to worry about it.

it's the other one.

I bought a Prophet 600 analog synth back in March for $650.00 a price I bargained the guy down from 800 on and thought was a good deal until I brought it home. It's a polyphonic synth, which means I can make chords and play more than one note at a time (unlike my other synth). Anyway the keyboard was acting really strange and not in tune with itself, it was playing a bit like an old piano that's been ignored for twenty five years, you play one note and the next one is flat and the third one sounds just like the first note you played. Anyway that was my problem. So I called a repair shop which specializes in old gear, they're mercifully near by. long story short they got it fixed in a couple of weeks and for only about $275 including labour and parts, that's great I bring it home and have a ball, making sounds with it, learning how to program it and teaching myself how to play two keyboards at once.

Then this week I decided to go through all of it's memory (it can store 100 different sounds that can be accessed by a keypad that looks a bit like the one on your phone)

Anyway this was a good idea at the time, it meant I could make notes of what sounds were where and get a better idea of it's capabillities.

still no problem.

then yesterday I'm playing it and it's drifted out of tune. I tune it but it's not goten better, it's actually a bit worse, then I notice that I've been doing it wrong and that's thrown it out of balance. I've spent the last two days trying to get it back and slowly it's been complying. not a problem right?

wrong.

I decide to try some different sounds and discover much to my own frustration and curiosity that it seems to be out of tune in each patch and in unique ways, one might be flat another sharp another just so slightly that it sounds off to the ear and still another that's three or four notes off completely.

I've heard that this synth was legendary for going out of tune, that's one of the reasons I think that the manufacturer made it so easy to re-tune it (just hit a button if it doesn't work do it over and over untl it sounds right, just make sure you have the mod wheel in the right place first).

except that I have 100 different sounds and many of them are uniquely out of key.

aarrgh

I'm going to have to call the repair shop and ask them if they know what's wrong with it I'm praying I don't have to get it repaired again because it's a little pricey even if the synth itself is badass when it works right.

ok so lessons learned:

1. don't buy vintage synthesizers from craigslist

2 if you do buy old gear from craigslist take the time to test it thuroughly if the dude, or lady who's trying to sell you the gear starts to get irritated with how long you are taking to check it in every concievable way you're doing it right.

3. what's that phrase again? Caveat Emptor: buyer beware. Even if you've worn out your welcome, and haggled like a Lebonese grandma to get the vintage synth of your dreams that doesn't mean that it's still ging to do what you want it to when you get it back to your place, especially if it's older than some of your friends, that shit don't have warrenties.

close to the end

2008-04-22T02:09:00.000-07:00

in maybe one or two more studio sessions my long awaited album will be finished and ready to be pressed. I still need to design most of the art but the music and audio collage are coming together really well. After over a year the end is clearly in sight. it's exciting.

new web-komiks

2008-04-18T02:21:00.000-07:00

yes. I've been hard at work if by hard you mean writing poorly over images I found on my computer and on the internet and by work you mean updating it every night with one of them then yes, I have been one industrious amphibious mammal.

I have decided that I have enough pictures that I can make a fair go of things over there but who knows? When I started this blog I actually thought it would act as a journal of the one man revolution, instead it's turned into a cool sounding but infrequently updated shaddow of my former Live Journal blog.

Don't expect anything more exciting from this one, I don't.

As for these web-komiks I'm having fun and it's a pleasant reminder to me that I have a sense of humour at all. God willing this will go on at least until I've exhausted my supply of easily manipulated images. After that, well, we'll see...

go there... go there now!

passtimes

2008-04-14T23:32:00.000-07:00

I think I'm going to try my hand at webcomicrey.

here are two I just made...

I just started another blog to put comics on
here's the url: click on this to see my comics or else.

the Christian Radical: problems and pleas

2008-03-16T16:10:00.000-07:00

Hi,

if you read the print version of The Christian Radical in Vancouver BC and you've been wondering where this one is and why you havn't seen any in the usual spots around town, it's because they are all still at the Catholic Worker waiting to be folded, stapled and distributed.

There is a very good reason for this: I can't do it all by myself.

The past couple of months maybe you have noticed that they don't all appear promptly or maybe there are fewer around. The Christian Radical has never been a one man show. In times past I was able to manage a 200 copy print run each month because I had help from one of my best friends but as he has had to retire to heal from an illness I have been saddled with this city on my own. I can afford to print two hundred a month no problem but getting them assembled and distributed is another matter.

I've tried to cut the print run down by 50 but 150 copies is no easier to do than 200 and it's an overwhelming thing to do all on ones own.

So I have a unique petition: if you live in Vancouver BC and you care about seeing this zine apear in paper each month and have time you would be willing to donate to making this happen with me could you please write me at the.christian.radical.zine@gmail.com
I really need the help and I don't want to stop but if I can't get someone who is willing and able to at least distribute them with or for me each month then I don't know what I'll have to do.

If you are out there, please write to me, or post in this blog.

thanks in advance
Chris Rooney

electric mayhem

2008-03-13T23:43:00.000-07:00

so my synth and sequencer came in the mail today. I'm excited... making sounds, playing notes... tweaking dials, plugging things in. it's all very exciting, but what good is it with no one to jam with? It's all very lonely sometimes. I have all these songs written and learned on guitar and I'm ok at playing keyboard and there is a lot of gear in my room now but I'm not a one man band, at least I don't really want to be.

My head's full of ideas but they're all my ideas I like tem better when combined with other people's. I'm going to be bringing my electric guitar back with me from North Van after the 22nd and that could be ok but it would be really awsme to put all of this stuff to use.

lol

2008-01-31T22:45:00.001-08:00

Where Are The Dogs Humping.com

Using the internet to buy things

2008-01-22T03:39:00.000-08:00

Closed-bag exchange

from wikipedia.org

Hofstadter^[10] once suggested that people often find problems such as the Prisoners Dilemma problem easier to understand when it is illustrated in the form of a simple game, or trade-off. One of several examples he used was "closed bag exchange":

Two people meet and exchange closed bags, with the understanding that one of them contains money, and the other contains a purchase. Either player can choose to honour the deal by putting into his bag what he agreed, or he can defect by handing over an empty bag.

In this game, defection is always the best course, implying that rational agents will never play, and that "closed bag exchange" will be a missing market due to adverse selection. However, in this case both players cooperating and both players defecting actually give the same result, so chances of mutual cooperation, even in repeated games, are few.

---------------------------

I've ben engaged in a week-long search for a Korg MS-20 Analog Synth. Let me tell you first off that finding one of these things second hand in playable condition and for a reasonable price is next to impossible.

Now I want to tell you about the one I did find.

It was about as good as you could get, second hand from someone who bought it in Japan, lightly used the photos on craigslist were mint and the guy selling the thing seemed like a reasonable and honest person. I had been looking on e-bay and another site which specialises in used modular gear and the going price is close to $1700.00 USD not counting postage and duties and international shipping costs. uggh.

After rigorusly scouring google I came across one for $1300 US. A guy on craigslist in St. Paul Minnesota was selling his and it looked better than the ones I'd seen on e-bay and it wasn't going to have to be shipped from Asia w00t says I as I wrote him to inquire.

He gave me the run down and offered to knock $50.00 off the price and include six or seven patch cords for the patch bay part of the machine. I was excited, I've been wanting an analog synth for years and my birthday is coming up, if there's anything I'd want it's one of these things. I got in touch with my mom because I figured I could get her to pay for it as a birthday present. then the e-mails got interesting, see there was no way that I could verify the guys claims that the synth was in the condition it appeared to be in and there was no way that I could convince him that a post dated check would clear by the time I had the keyboard. And here is the birth of the prisoners dilemma I've been playing for the past couple of days.

There was the possibillity that he, like myself was on the up and up, he: just a dude selling some gear to make student loan payments and myself: an interested potential buyer with a twist, St. Paul is way to far away for me to do the transaction in person.

My mom justifiably didn't want to be out 1300.00 incase the thing never materialised or arived broken or something, and the seller didn't want to be stuck with sending a valuable instrument overseas on a fake check. ten e-mails later we had settled on a post-dated money order which would validate after I recieved the keyboard (with fedex probably about 24 hours later). another e-mail was sent and I went to dinner thinking that the prisoners dilemma was overcome and that we would both be better off for it... if only life were that simple.

I got home from dinner to find a new e-mail from the man this time insisting on cash upfront or a non post-dated check or money order before he would mail out the gear. The prisoners dilemma had struck again. I called up my mom and after some discussion I looked up the section of craigslist which tells you how to avoid scams and much to my surprise and amazement this transaction had all the appearance of a scam but not on his part.

from the craigslist website:

Recognizing scams

Most scams involve one or more of the following:

inquiry from someone far away, often in another country
Western Union, Money Gram, cashier's check, money order, shipping, escrow service, or a "guarantee"
inability or refusal to meet face-to-face before consumating transaction

more in detail here

I have a bleak moment of clarity while reading the sites admonitions where I realise that to anyone in his position it would appear as though I were trying to pull a con on the guy. Shit I think, fucking hell. The only honest thing I can do is write to the guy explaining that I'm not going to persue buying from him because not only is there no guarantee on either side that we'll both cooperate but that by all appearances to the cautious and concientious user of craigslist I have made of myself the impression of being a con-artist. Since I'm not a swindler and I also don't want to get burned and since the dynamic of trying to buy this thing was a clasic prisoners dilemma I had no alternative but to bow out. He had told me in an earlier e-mail that he knew someone else who was interested and so I told him that if that guy was in his area and could buy the thing in person that he should sell it to him and I sugested that he give this other possible byer the same deal he had agreed on with me (because it was a good deal but not so good as to be a "steal"). Anyway this has left me frustrated because I'm back at square one and feeling like my dreams of monophonic madness with keyboards are for the forseeable future going to have to remain dreams.

I had to apend the pertinent section of the wikipedia article on game theory and the prisoners dilemma, I also sent it to the guy in Minnesota. I couldn't believe just how close it seemed to the classic dilemma to read the whole article (it's interesting if you like stuff like this) you should go here

the impatience of a man who wants the housing market to crash in Vancouver

2007-12-20T02:21:00.000-08:00

Yvonne and I have been talking about opening a new Catholic Worker house, to help expand the Van CW. This is something I've been hoping to do since I first got involved with the movement. My mom has pledged to help buy the place and I have a small inheritance that I don't want to use in any other way in total between us we have $500,000 to buy a house and make whatever repairs need to be made to the place. You might look at that figure and say to yourself "that's a lot of money" and anywhere else in the world it would be more than enough to buy an aging house in a working class neighbourhood, maybe even with enough left over for emergencies, not in Vancouver. I know, I've been looking. If you reading this are from Vancouver you'll no doubt be thinking as you read this "well duh but wait until after 2010". Of course the Olympics have destroyed any normal person's abillity to own his/her own home. I went on craigslist after getting sick of real estate websites and for 200,000 I could own a house on two acres on the top of a hill with a panoramic ocean view and a basketball/tennis court near Panama City in Central America.

Of course While I have no idea if Panama could use a CW community I don't think that it's my calling to start that one. I'm grasping at straws here, Perhas I ought to try and write to church communities here in Van and see if that would work. I know already that the Catholic Arch Diocese is a write off but perhaps the Anglicans or United Church would be able to oblige. if you're the praying sort could you please keep the Vancouver Catholic Worker in your prayers and especially for our small community to grow a little? Also, if you happen to know of a nice old house in the Downtown East Side or Mount Pleasant that could house more than three people and is selling on the cheap (for vancouver) that would help as well.

I think I'm going to write up a basic form letter to send to church groups.

This stuff is fucking hardcore plus some kind of update on my life.

2007-12-14T23:57:00.000-08:00

--
In the past month lots has been happening. Yvonne and I thought about moving to Hornby Island and start a Catholic Worker Farm. The Christmas Issue of the Christian Radical came out online and is sitting in a big unstapled pile in my room waiting to be assembled and placed around the city I bought a rare vintage bicycle which is hard to find new wheels for (probably why I got it cheap) and Yvonne and I have goten engaged!

A few other things happened but I don't really want to talk about them because they concern one of my best friends and it's upsetting to me also I've talked about it enough with individual friends as things were happening and I don't feel too hot about writing it all out.

In music news I'm going back into the studio next week to put down the final track on the CD and to start tweaking things with Jeremy, I'm also playing a gig for the War Resisters Support Campaign tomorrow (Saturday) night.

I'm kind of tired right now, I've been in transit all day coming home from visiting Yvonne's family on the island.

I like BC Ferries.

detournment at it's finest

2007-11-10T18:48:00.000-08:00

Winnie the Pooh... oh the horror, the horror!

Updating an old blog

2007-11-10T02:42:00.000-08:00

I'm sick. I've been ill now for two days and I'm optimistic that it's going to cough it's way through me by the end of the weekend. Things in my life are going really well over all. Yvonne warms my heart and I still find myself grinning like, well like a man in love. It was her birthday on the 8th I wish I had been in better sorts but we still went out to a nice french restaurant I know though I was too illl to go to the gallery opening or the movie afterwards. bleh.

It's been so long I'm no longer sure what to write here. The Christian Radical blog takes up a lot more of my energy but none of my personal writing. I have still to write something new for the Christmas issue and I'll feel a lot better once I'm no longer sick.

my room's a mess I think tomorrow I'll put on some propagandhi and actually clean something. I've also fallen behind on some other things that need to get done. Maybe this being sick thing can work for me after all.

"Church Surfing" as my mom calls it seems to have calmed down. Yvonne and I found a nice Anglo-Catholic mass that starts at 11:15 which is a lot more civil than 9:00am and it's a lot more transit acccessible. The Orthodox church is still a place very dear to my heart but I'm not sure if it's where I'm supposed to be.

I feel like ass, ass with phleghm and a very sore chest from coughing so I'm going to take a lot of pills and cough medicine and conk out soon but for the maybe five people who ever read this blog I thought I'd post something just to re-assert my web-presence.

night

tape decks rocking the shit out

2007-09-26T01:57:00.000-07:00

So I brought this three channel mixer down from my mom's place I didn't have veryhigh hopes for it because the last time I'd tried to mix with it is was a real let down and I suspected it might be a dud but I plugged it in and ran three tape recorders through it and into my amp and I was so surprised it's really awsome and pretty sensitive too I have to figure out the levels but with three decks I can do some rad shit, I had this tape of computer voices saying all this funny stuff and a James Brown tape and I was mixing them with the cramps, minor threat and this meditation/relaxation tape that was all about subliminally learning how to sing. It's been a while since I did this sort of thing but it is so much fun when I get the chance. I also figured that if I were to buy a battery powered amp I could litterally spin anything anywhere so I could theoretically busk with tapes as easily as I could with other instruments.

Also in tape related news Spud and Alicia are back from the UK and so I'm going to have to get some stuff together to rock out with Spud. I have another of these three channel things and some cassio keyboards wich means North again! I'm so excited to get that project back up. Jamming with Spud was sometimes not that great but when we were on we were right fucking on!

the trouble with housing...

2007-09-17T00:49:00.000-07:00

is that it's so fucking expensive and mostly constructed to fit with the whole "nuclear family" paradigm in mind.

I've been thinking about opening another Catholic Worker house for a few years and am coming to a point in my life where I would be very happy if it came about sooner than later. I've got a fair ammount of capital because of inheritance and a generous donation from my family but it still isn't enough to get a place in the city and there doesn't seem to be anything like what I envision out there in the Gulf, the inside passage, or on Van Island. Also there've been some changes take place as to who is interested in helping this take shape and I've been left feeling a little scattered. I'll be discussing all of this in greater detail both with my girlfriend and with anyone else interested in opening a Catholic Worker house. I havn't been updating this blog nearly at all but I hope that I can use it as a sounding board for this process and maybe aid in discerning how to proceed. Honestly folks I'm really kind of going on faith alone, maybe this is the best way to do it but at the same time it's a little rattling because I just don't know what's on the horizon.

I guess I should add to this post by telling you about what's been going on in my life. Well Let's start with the Girlfriend.

you know how God works in mysterious ways well I think about how we came together and all I can do is shake my head in amazement.

Two years ago Gary invited me to Rocky Horror Picture Show at the Vogue Theatre. I met some of his friends, one of whom was stunning and I spent the whole evening working up the nerve to ask her for her number. I didn't quite get up enough nerve for that but I did give her my number all the while not really expecting anything to come of it.

She didn't call me back and so I shrugged it off and went on with my life. Now I'd like to fast forward to the day I got back from Kenora. I was on MSN with Garey and he asked me if he gave me this girl's number would I call her. Well my first thoughts were that he was drunk and wanted me to call her for him or something and after assuring me that he was neither he told me her story.

This was the same girl I had given my number to a few years earlier. I was the first guy to ever give his number to her and she'd been wondering wether or not to call it for two years. Finally her best friend decided to go behind her back and get Gary to get me to call her. After having my memory jogged I took down her number and after our conversation finished I decided that if I didn't call her then I might forget or something so I called her up and we made a date to go for coffee. I was really kind of nervous that she wouldn't show up or that we wouldn't have anything in common or that it would be a dissappointment in some other unforseen way but from the moment I saw her at the cafee there was this chemistry that I'm at a loss to describe except to say that I was swept up in it.

We sat and talked for a couple of hours and then left and went for a walk and then we ended our date cuddling on a park bench we caught the bus down Main and as we left each other I think that the both of us were equally blissed out. We made plans to go to a movie a few days later and the next day we hung out while I got the Radical printed and did a couple of other errands. We've spent almost every day together since then and it's been wonderful.

I feel so comfortable around Yvonne I've been able to tell her things about my life that I'm not usually very forthcoming about and I've told her things that no one else knows about. She's told me a lot about her family and what it was like being home schooled. There's nights when we just lay in each others arms and talk and look into eachothers eyes, she's got these eyes that look a bit like a solar eclypse and this smile that turns me into dumb. Just writing this entry has me grinning like an idiot, in short I'm crazy about her, and the really amazing part is that it's mutual.

I'm sure I'll have more to share later but right now I want to watch homestar runner and go to sleep, she's coming to my mom's with me tomorrow.

3D Dialogue: The Catholic Worker Movement

2007-08-27T10:20:00.001-07:00

For more info contact:

Zacchaeus CW House
5 Close Ave
Toronto ONT M6K 2V2
Ph 416 516 8198
E-mail zacchaeushouse@sympatico.ca

take action against the police

2007-08-27T09:44:00.000-07:00

On August 20th a Union leader stopped members of the Quebec provincial police dressed as black bloc Anarchists from inciting a riot at the anti-spp protests the footage below was taken at the scene. Below that is a way to take action to let our politicians know that this can not go on. As citizens of an allegedly free country we have the right to voice our dissent without fear of reprisal or police attempts to discredit our movements. Please take a moment to write parliment, and share this with others.

I have written to Prime Minister Stephen Harper urging him to investigate what happened in Montebello, and if there were undercover police officers trying to incite violence.

To join me, go to http://www.rightoncanada.ca

Click this link to take action now!!

Nick Drake is my musical hero

2007-08-15T01:28:00.000-07:00

so some updates...

After thinking further on the place at 70 mile house and talking with james, also after looking at a map of BC we've both agreed that it's not the place to start.

I'm leaving in the morning for Kenora/Grassy Narrows with Christian Peacemaker Teams I'm pretty excited about this I don't know what to expect at all.

I'm still questioning whether I ought to remain in the Roman Catholic Church. I havn't been to mass in a couple of weeks and the last time I was part of an eucharist was in Guadalupe at the Catholic Worker. I'm kind of in a different space than I was last year at this time, though I still disagree over the Papal claims and the Vatican I Doctrines I'm no longer angry with the church just sad and though I believe that God wouldn't let the Roman church out to dry because the Pope wants to grasp at power I also get this twinge each time I recite some of the prayers in my Catholic prayer book whenever Mary's immaculate conception is mentioned.

Also I find it difficult to go to church in Vancouver generally, the parish I like I have difficulty getting to and I'm the youngest person there by about thirty years and the Cathedral downtown is full of fanatics and I'm not using hyperbole, I have heard some very distressing homilies there and I don't feel comfortable in a place where I have to remind myself that I'm there for the Eucharist not some man's opinion.

I'm currently still trying to sort out my vocation. I have no doubt that the life I want to live is the life of a Catholic Worker, in community and poverty and in servise and solidarity with the poor. But since going to Assisi a new dimension has arisen. I can't recall if I wrote about this here but when I was on the steps leaving San Damiano I had for just a moment this clarity about going into Holy Orders. It was at once exciting and infuriating and has left me with a lot to think about and it's clarified my position on something, marriage is very important to me and I don't feel that I could live a life of service apart from the life of a husband and father. So you can understand one reason I've had issue with the Catholic position on clerical celibacy.

I've been thinking about going back to St. Nina's or St. Raphael's and I hope that my trip to Kenora will help me think clearly about this issue.

In other, non church-related news work on the new CD is coming along really well, I'll be wrapping up the studio sessions when I get home and I've written two new songs that I hope to put on the album. I'm also thinking about starting a band but I'm not certain how or with whom. I've got gear and I've got a whole bunch of songs that I'd love to play with other people but for now I think that just getting the CD finished and pressed and playing around town will be a lot of work to start with.

I think that's it for now. I'm going to go to bed I've got an early morning.

zine machine rides again

2007-08-12T03:14:00.000-07:00

Making zines can be really addictive. I've been putting together some that I've wanted to make for quite a while now. In the last two days I've made zines out of writing by Ched Myers, Jon Sobrino and Monk Damascene Christensen. It's my hope that I could print them off and sell them to help with the expenses of The Christian Radical. Also it's really awsome to put something together in a way that looks good. I wish I could print them out but I think my printer has officially bought the farm it's only printing junk these days no good for anything not even copy.

Speaking of buying the farm I was talking to my mom yesterday afternoon and she told me that she knew a guy near 70 Mile House who wanted to sell this huge acreage with a big house that has a stage and can sleep something like 20 people for $400,000. I was really pretty excited and my mom would help with the cash but 7o Mile House is really far away from everything and I do mean everything (it's a six hour drive north of Hope BC). I've been looking at info about the area where this place is and I'm starting to have serious doubts. On the one hand the place sounds palatial on the other hand the place sounds palatial, it's also really far away from the area that I originally thought about starting a CW Farm and I have no idea wether I want to live somewhere so far away and so cold in the winter.

I told James about it and he got cold feet, I said that there's no way I can even get away to look at the place until September or late August because of CPT and after thinking about it more I'm getting hesitant myself. I wish there was some way for James and I to actually spend some time together that's not at his work but he's there open to close every day until Alan gets back from his vacation so any time spent with him has to be while he's at work. yech.

I'm going to try and get together with him in the afternoon maybe we can talk further, I'm also going to talk a bit more with my mom and I think that no matter what there's still a lot of prayer and discernment that needs to happen around this.

If you reading this are so inclined as to pray we could use and would appreciate your prayers for starting a new Catholic Worker community.

end of internship update

2007-08-08T00:59:00.000-07:00

What follows is my essay for The Catholic Agitator it'll be printed in their October issue along with whatever other interns wrote. just to preface I had a great time with my friends in the community though I never fit in with the other interns and by the end of the six weeks I had given up at even trying. It's remarkable what a four year age difference can do. I really felt alone some of the time because I wasn't an "intern" in the same way as the rest of them were and being straight edge I couldn't really mix with them easily in our off hours because they were all about partying and that's something I burnt out on a long time ago. I'm also not quite a member of the LACW because I an a Catholic Worker in Vancouver though I have hopes and plans to go down there for six months to live and work with them when they are short staffed in the winter but that's not going to be for a year at least I have stuff I want and need to do up here in the interim. Here's the essay:

Where Am I and What Am I Doing?
Chris Rooney

So it’s the evening before the end of the summer program and I’m in the Agitator office trying to hammer something out. Writing about my faith journey would take a long time and, it’s something that I’ve been trying to write about for years, one of my more successful attempts took three hundred pages before I ran out of steam and gave up.

A lot of things have combined in my life to bring me to the Los Angeles Catholic Worker. On my first trip here I wrote on what I called Divine Futility, knowing that caring for people and trying to serve the homeless wouldn’t ever end homelessness and that in a strange way the act, though at times wearying, had in itself a kind of perseverance and that this perseverance comes from God.

I think that when I wrote that essay I downplayed the very mundane feelings that come along with it. It scares me a little to write about the other side of that coin and as I do I’m reminded of the title of Dorothy Day’s autobiography, The Long Loneliness. The other side of this vocation for bringing good things into the lives of the poor is the real and heavy feeling that some times you have a lot to carry around and that it might never get any easier.

I was making the August issue of The Christian Radical when I asked Catherine what she did when she felt defeated. She made a knowing sound and told me that the trick she’d learned was to keep so busy that you don’t have time to think about it; that’s solid advice, but it’s not always easy to follow.

This past year has been one of searching and reconciliation for me. As I returned to Vancouver from my pilgrimage here, and to Jonah House, and the Toronto Catholic Worker I was coming to terms with the history of the Catholic Church and with the false doctrine of papal infallibility. I found it easier to be a Catholic without thinking about this, but as I started to read more what I learned was enough to make me want to leave. Leaving was an easy thing for me to do because I don’t really have any special attachment to the Vancouver Archdiocese. I don’t have anything good to say about the Roman church in Vancouver so I’ll talk more about the things I found while I went looking, and what I did with them.

Coming back to Vancouver I started attending mass at the Old Catholic church where I found a community which was pleasant enough but though I have an affinity for the Old Catholics I didn’t feel that I fit in there and I didn’t feel comfortable talking with the clergy or most of the congregation. I left after a lot of hard questioning, and after even more questioning I started going to an Orthodox mission with one of my best friends. The community I found there was young and vibrant and intellectual, concerned about social justice and interested in the Catholic Worker movement. To date they are the only church in Vancouver that reads The Christian Radical and they are like family I don’t visit enough. As I struggled for more understanding of where I was and what I was doing I wrote to Fr. Steve Kelly and he also gave me some good advice about the importance of prayer, I don’t remember if I ever thanked him.

I was preparing to become a catechumen in the Orthodox Church and all the while ignoring that I was doing it because I was running from the Catholic Church. My pastor at the Orthodox mission told me early on that if I weren’t running towards Christ in choosing to convert then it would be better for me to remain Catholic despite my issues. And that’s why I’m not an Orthodox Christian right now. I had to admit that my whole reason for leaving the church in the first place was because of my unwillingness to forgive it for lying and for the awful things it has done in Christ’s name. Faced with this I had no other choice but to start going back and to forgive this church for it’s sordid past and present. I’ve said this a lot and it keeps proving true that sooner or later everyone has to forgive their church, I’ve had to do it a number of times already and I’ll probably have to do it a lot more before I’m dead.

I’ve still got issues with Catholicism but they are mine and I know these things won’t change on my or anyone else’s account, all I can do is remember that I’m charged with the responsibility to forgive unconditionally and to try and do my small part to be a Christian in the midst of a heavily corrupted institution.

As I packed my bags I asked myself one question everyplace I left last year; “If I could only go home with one thing what would it be?” Last year when I was packing to leave this place I said to myself that it was the graciousness and total hospitality that I was shown by this community, this year it’s the stoic determination that Catherine hinted at when she advised me to just plow on through.

The last time I went to the Cathedral in Vancouver I was upset by signs that had been taped to the inner doors of the church. The signs told people absolutely not to sleep in the pews or on the floor inside. I wanted to take the signs down but as people started to exit I got scared of being caught and I left them up. When I go home I’m going to go back up to those doors and if they’re still there I’m going to take those signs down. And I hope to get caught doing it I want to remind the priests that the church is the mansion of the poor. That no matter how much wealth it accumulates, no matter how much they might want to close and lock their doors to the panhandlers on the steps outside, those are the people Christ came to meet, not the rich families who gather there for mass every Sunday.

So this brings me back here, to me sitting in the office trying to make something for the Agitator. I have to thank God for stoicism; I think that it might be an underrated grace. Perhaps it’s the only way to keep living this vocation, like Dennis Appel said in a talk he and Tenzie gave here, the spirit of God blows where She will and we’re all just holding on until She blows back in. Sometimes it can be easy to feel alone in this work but then there are these moments where for one reason or another I’m reminded that my struggle is just a small part of a very beautiful thing, something that is so very much larger than any one person, and I thank God as I write this that despite my occasional lonliness the view is still better from the cross.

LA in the summer

2007-07-05T16:38:00.000-07:00

Damn it's been a long while since I updated this blog.

I'm in Los Angeles right now watching the phones at the LA Catholic Worker. I'm an intern here until the 7th of August and I've been keeping really busy. Our average day at the kitchen starts at 7:00am with breakfast and coffee and waking up. Then we all pile into a big van and drive to the soup kitchen located in the heart of skid row. We open with a prayer and then we get to work making the salad, stirring giant pots of soup or chilli or stew, buttering and slicing bread and serving ice water to the people who have started to line up as early as 9:00am. Our community here has a daily vigil near the Federal Building and so someone will go to our usual spot with a sign to keep the protest going that person leads the reflection at the end of our day.

We are not a missionary organisation.

I can't stress this enough, often when I tell people about the work that we do here in LA or about the Catholic Worker movement in general it seems that people think that because we're Christian and serving food to peoplee that we have some mandate to lead people to God and to pray over them and prosteletize. That's not what we are about and that's not what this movement is about. If people are lead to God by our actions then it is the work of God intervening in their lives and is hopefully as a result of the consistency with which the people here live what they believe. We don't nor have we ever prayed over the people eating with us nor do we make the hungry listen to sermons, there are actual missions in the neighbourhood and that's their bag.

The Catholic Worker movement is and has always been firstly about recognizing Christ in other people and uppon seeing him there, serving that person as though they were Christ. This means we are all about practicing what has been called the works of mercy, these are:

feeding the hungry
giving drink to the thirsty
clothing the naked
sheltering the homeless
caring for the sick
visiting the imprisoned
burrying the dead

with the exception of the last one the LA Catholic Worker engages in all of these. At our soup kitchen we feed and give drink to the people of skid row, when we recieve donations of clothing or blankets they are given away to all who need them, there is a small clinic which provides medical care and a dentist who works for free providing care for people who could never otherwise afford dental work.

The house here was donated to the community back in the seventies and has somewhere in the neighbourhood of fifteen bedrooms many of which are occupied by long and medium term guests. The LA Catholic Worker doesn't operate on a shelter model, if someone asks to move in it's voted on by the community and if there's a room free and nobody objects then they are welcome to move in and stay as long as they like with no obligations put uppon them other than that they stay sober and don't drink or do drugs.

It gets hot here and sometimes the work is tiring but it's not without its rewards. The kitchen closes at noon and by two we are all home and free for the rest of the day. We eat dinner together every night with different people taking turns to cook. We eat what we serve at the kitchen and rest in the afternoons and evenings. Occasionally someone will come and give a talk or there will be some presentation like a documentary followed by discussion and we do other things together like community meetings to divide up the chores for the coming week and to plan protest actions and of course there's lots of time to relax.

No one in the community needs to work joe jobs to keep food coming in or money in the bank, all the food and money that we recieve from donors and organisations is held in common and there is always enough for everyone.

If you want to learn more about the Catholic Worker movement or the LA community you can go to
www.catholicworker.org
www.ctholicworker.com
and
www.lacatholicworker.org

That's pretty much what's been going on in my life. The other thing that's been taking yp my time has been The Christian Radical, maintaining our blog and putting the zine together it's kind of eaten up a lot of my blog energy. I'll try and write more here but for now don't expect a lot.

intensive studio week and making mix cd

2007-06-17T00:59:00.000-07:00

I'm making a mix CD for my friend Jeremy. Jeremy is recording me right now and I told him that I'd put together a mix CD of stuff that would give him an idea of what I'm thinking of artistically. It's a difficult thing to do actually, try and find songs by artists which typify the sort of sound and asthetic that you want on a CD. I wish I could just hand him a bunch of old tapes of things I've done myself but that's impractical for a number of reasons, mainly it wouldn't work because the stuff I'd give him is in storage and some of the tapes are lost. I'm curious though what Jeremy is going to do with what I do give him because it's really a departure from the sorts of music that he makes and records. It's been a long journey for both of us from the days when we were swapping punk CD's at all ages shows and getting high in North Van to now. He's become a keyboardist in a famous industrial band and I've gone on to make folk music in my bedroom. I'm really curious to see what comes of this collaboration, I think that if it works it will work very well. I have a lot of confidence in Jeremy and I'm happy to be working with him on a project finally but if it doesn't work then it's going to suck.

Fingers crossed for this working out. I'll be in the studio just about every day until I leave. If you're in North Vancouver and want to get together send me an e-mail and let's try and work around this.

making a mix tape

2007-06-16T02:00:00.000-07:00

That's right I'm making a mix tape. The sad casualty of digital technology making mix tapes used to be a real art form like knitting or recording an album finding those songs that are just right, inserting arty and interesting filler when you end up with thirty seconds of dead air at the end of a side creating a cool looking tape cover and listening to the whole thing afterwards and writing up the song list. I think it's been almost ten years since the last mix tape I made.

This one is for my mom on the occasion of her 60th birthday. I took a lot of raw audio of songs I'd either written or learned and I had been thinking of putting them all together in one place for some time this just seemed the most appealing way. So I've been working on it for hours and it's just about finished. I really like how it's come out and I learned something really awsome about my double tape deck. It doesn't exactly record over something... It records overtop of things, so I can layer tracks overtop of one another but after two tracks it starts to get muddy but this means that I can basically make primitive audio collage, and I did.

I'm sad that the mix tape has been phased out in favour of the ipod and mp3 technology. We think that this technology has made things easier, and maybe it has but it's also taken a lot of our freedom away. I'm talking about the freedom to record and shape sounds in analog. If you want to do what I did today with track layering you need to buy a lot of fancy audio software and get really technical and granted if you've got the time and the skill it could come out better than what I did but all I had to do was put on two tapes and record them playing together and with a little patience and good timing I've made some awsome sound collage.

The Killing of Sexy Wayne

2007-06-15T02:14:00.000-07:00

So someone asked me one time if I knew anything about the business of selling human hair

And so I says: Yes as a matter of fact my father was a hair salesman, and his father before him. I was raised in the noble trade of hair selling. But I opted instead for a life of wonderment as a Siamese twin in a circus side show. We travelled all through the south until one day I was so sad that I was beside myself. That’s when I knew that show business just wasn't for me.

The days of vaudeville were gone and nobody in America ever went into sparsely populated communities to show Russian films from the side of the train, show business was dead they all used to say. So I went into the patent medicine business

Ever heard of snake oil?

Well I never sold that, but I heard it was pretty lucrative. I sold rock oil... otherwise known as petroleum.

I didn't make up the name of course, that was done by some dunce who found some petroleum on these rocks someplace and figured the rocks were excreting the oil.

He was pretty sad to find out that the oil came from dinosaurs instead of rocks, especially because he didn't even know what a dinosaur was...

I first got into selling petroleum when I was running away from the circus and the patent medicine thing was really big at the time so I started mixing petroleum with opium and selling it as a nerve tonic.

It made people so calm that they died.

So I got out of selling petroleum and instead I began to buy large quantities of bananna peel.

What?

Aren’t you interested anymore?

Ok so anyway

I started to buy all these banana peels.

I got it into my head that the best way to make me a living was as a professional assassin and that the first thing I needed to do, as an assassin was to get a calling card. That way everyone would know who it was that killed the guy and I'd get famous like the Joker.

So I bought these banannapels and started placing them on the ground near places where I figured guys who needed to die would hang out, y'know places like lavatories and ice cream parlours and dinosaurs.

So yah I started putting these banana peels down everywhere and sure enough people started slipping on them and cracking their heads open and saying "ow my head".

That’s about when when Al Capone hired me to start running petroleum for him back in ought five. Yah Petroleum had taken off in a big way, but not as a nerve tonic. See it was the thirties now and people wanted a new way to keep their skin all shiny and reflective so they began using petroleum instead of tanning butter, which they had started putting on their toast.

Why they used tanning butter on their toast I'll never know.

I'm not an expert on bread.

So yah Al Capone, he hired me to run petroleum from Chicago to New Delhi. But I wasn't too good at that so he got me to do his taxes. But I wasn't too good at that either and so he went to jail…

...Alcatraz I think it was.

Yes.

So I went back into business as the bananna peel killer. But the bananas had gotten wise and didn't want to get killed no more so I started to think that maybe this whole human hair kick my pops was on wasn't such a bum idea after all...

And that's how I became president of the United States of America.

We ate our way across the prairies.

2007-06-15T02:03:00.000-07:00

Exerpted from a longer piece titled The Saskatchewan Play By Play

On our way to Regina we went through this town called Wroxville which had no paved streets and one sidewalk which somebody probably thought was a good idea back in 1960 but then in 1961 realised it wasn’t a good idea and decided to forget it ever happened… it’s always the sidewalks which suffer the most in situations like that.

We went through Wroxville because there’s a big old Orthodox church there that I had to take pictures of. The church was the tallest thing in the town the rest of the town consisted of a few houses and some trailers and a couple of long forgotten and boarded up storefronts. We wanted to go inside the church but some people in a vegetable garden next door said that it was only open on holidays and then one of them, a man about my mom's age, said he had never been inside of the church as long as he’d lived.

There was a falling apart old grain elevator near the train tracks, it sort of slouched and shared its commiserations with us over the death of the Wroxville parish district as we drove out of town.

I had a lot of fun on my family trip to Saskatchewan.

hehehehe

2007-06-14T19:15:00.000-07:00

toothpastefordinner.com

Florence and beyond!

2007-05-25T00:41:00.000-07:00

so as you might tell by the title of this post Im in Florence. I think I've finally just now figured out apostrophes on these european keyboards. the past few days since leaving Rome have been spent in Perugia, a small midevil village close to Assisi. That was the other high point of this trip. Going to Assisi was something I never in my life imagined I'd be able to do. In the Reliquary of St Francis they have his tunic it looks like a pair of well worn punk rock pants, covered in patches of dark fabric and white thread and so threadbare that one wonders if there was anything left of the original material. He would have been a really small man. I never thought about his height but I guess the nickname Il Povrello was more than just affection, he really was the little poor man. There was kneelng beneath the crucifix of San Damiano and the reliwuary of St. Claire and the beautiful cathedral art from that period between the midevil and the renaissance, I have some very definite things to say about Renaissance artwork but my thumb has been giving me lots of joint pain recently.

I'll be moving on to Venice again soon where I'll put together the zine and rest from the internets and then it's back to Vancouver via NYC. I've had a wonerfull time on this vacation but I am ready to go home I think that if nothing else this trip has gone to show just how hard it is for my family to travel together.

ok so that's the dirt.

pax et bonum

right now it's yesterday

2007-05-19T16:58:00.000-07:00

as I write this it's almost 2am here in Rome but you reading this it's 5pm yesterday in Vancouver.

Today as I was sitting fown to breakfast in the hotel I had an epiphany, the best band name I have ever come up with: OCTOPUS AND THE LEATHER BOUND TOMATOES that's right, can't step to that shit yo.

I went to the colliseum and the catacombs today, lots of photos. expect to see many pictures of Rome in the next issue of the zine. none of the catacombs though, can't take pictures there it bothers the dead wooooooooo. actually I think it damages the artwork on the walls, it was really rad to be there though.

Hot Damn I'm in Rome~!

2007-05-18T07:09:00.000-07:00

yup that's right, Rome.

So I've been in Italy with my mom and my brother for four days now and it's pretty sweet. Venice was a trip unto itself and I'm looking forward to going back there. I didn't get to go to the Bacillica at St. Marks because of the lines but I did see some really beautiful churches. There was one right next to our hotel where Tintoretto is burried and there is a lot of really beautiful art all over the place, neat surprises in the masonry and icons of the Blessed Virgin and St Mark recessed into the walls. Because there's no cars or roads the whole city is quiet. I mean really silent. You can hear the sounds of children laughing and birdsong and the church bells mark the hours you don't even need a watch. The major sites are a disgusting exhibit of capitalism but there are parts of the city which are almost deserted and some really amazing food. We are going back for the last six days. We are only in Rome for two or three, today we are going to the Colliseum and the Catacombs and then we are going to the Vatican.

There are so many motor scooters here it's really quite something.

There's a ferry which connects Venice to Grece I'll have to save up so I can do a trip out here again and take the boat to Grece and maybe from there to Turky. The really wonderful thing about Venice and Rome are the artifacts of an earlier Christianity, a time in the history of my faith when there existed a truly Orthodox Catholicism. Having been a parissioner at an Orthodox church for most of the last year I find it very hard to bear ewith Catholics and Protestants who claim the word to suppose their own traditions, Sadly one can not claim that there is a Catholic Orthodoxy because of the centuries old relations to empire and worldly power that have tainted the Catholic church, the "orthodox" Catholic line is it's own sort of heresy in so far as it ascribes a near oracular power to the Bishop of Rome and his abillity to msake infalliable statements, it's assumptions about church organisation and it's historical ties to authority and it's own quest at one time to be an empire all it's own are not Orthodox. Neither however is the Protestant assertions that Catholicism isn't a Christian tradition, it's rejection of the reality of the sacraments as something beyond symbolism or the profession of sola scriptura. I guess what I'm saying is that an honest examination of history has to admit that in the west there are a preponderance of Unorthodox churches but that orthodox or not the Protestant and Catholic churches have something to them or else they wouldn't exist. The Holy Spirit moves where it will and it breathes life into the Vatican as much as it does in the churches of Russia and Scotland and Alabama. I love how simple Christ made it at the end of John's Gospel: If you love me then keep my commandments, love God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind, and love your neighbour as you love yourself. (Paraphrase)

If you love each other you're practicing Christianity.

That said, it's very difficult to keep those two commandments. I'll likely spend the rest of my life worshiping in a church where the established message is not "reach out and care for your neighbours no matter who they are" but more like "everyone's welcome because we won't tell you to leave". I've mused often on how in my life as a Christian a recurring theme has been that I have to forgive my church, and I think that if everyone were to look into the past histories of their church tradition that statement would ring true for everyone. The Russian Orthodox church manufactured the Protocols of the Elders of Zion to justify anti-semetic genocide, the residential schools in Canada which sexually humilliated and physically abused indigenous first nations as well as Doukhobor children were run and administered by the United Church of Canada. "The God Hates Fags" church are Calvinist protestants. The Catholic church has a bloody streak that doesn't need repeating. This isn't meant as a malicious or spiteful rant though I always get anxious while writing things like this because I know how easy it is to touch nerves. What I'm saying is that it's being able to forgive unconditionally which helps one grow in one's faith, so much more than just sitting in the pews and listening attentively, that's important but it's only fruitful when ones faith is nourished by questions and the recollection that answers only lead to further questions. And sometimes like my friend Barrett said Church is a bit like a marriage, sooner or later someone ends up sleeping on the couch.

VODEO!

2007-05-09T23:16:00.000-07:00

yes, that's right... Vodeo

V O D E O.

like video but with lots of cowboys.

V O D E O.

I'm going to go to sleep eventually but I'm a bit of a captive audience right now and the internet is addictive.

vodeo.

this moment brought to you by Moxy Fruvous

2007-05-09T23:15:00.001-07:00

I saw this online and I liked it so much that I thought I'd post it to both my blogs.

I changed my mind. I don't feel like going back and cleaning up the last post you'll just have to deal with my sloppiness.

2007-05-08T23:39:00.000-07:00

I'm in Toronto and it's almost 3am so I'll be brie. Tonight I went to see David Lynch's new film Inland Empire. This film is the fucking shit. It is a three hour long epic in avant guard cinema shot entirely in... yes folks... VODEO! affter an hour you get used to the strange graney texture of the shots and the sharp glare of the lighting, actually there are several parts of this film where Lynch makes the video stock work in beautiful and dramatic ways. The script is a mix of English and what I believe is Polish and it's filmed between LA and Lodz, Poland. The story is complex and while there is a plot it sort of walks out of the theatre to have a smoke break while the film carries on with you inside, then I think it went tro the store and bought some chocolate milk and lotto tickets before coming back into the theatre and making it's appearance in the film.

A very long time ago David Cronenberg made an adaptation of Willliam Burroughs ground breaking novel Naked Lunch, I never thought and I doubt he did as well, that someone could create a film which perfectly emulated the cut-up method which Burroughs pionered but tonight I saw it on screen. I spent the film first feeling as though I was a total outsider looking in on a world where every person is either psychotic or autistic or a halucination to watching in awe as I realise that without revealing anything of itself the film had drawn me right in, and then finally standing up at the end of the credits I felt in a total daze and walked an hour through West Toronto to get back to the Catholic Worker. If it's possible to fall in love with a piece of film I might have done just that tonight. Thats about all I can say about this movie. If you want to see something utterly unlike anything else you will ever see on a screen go go tomorrow, go tonight, go as soon as you can and watch this film you won't regret it. I've said to a llot of people that Lynch takes heavily from two other film makers; Jean Cocteau and Keneth Anger, and that their influence defines his asthetic. Watching everything he's made to this ppoint I was happy with that statement, seeing Inland Empire tonight was like watching him break his own mold and emerge from it as a consumate film maker, a master of the art worthy of succeding Ingmar Bergman, Fritz Lang, and Jean Renoire.

that's about all I've got to say right now. Toronto is a neat city, I have a new appreciation for it as an adult, walking through the run down streetcar suburbs like Parkdale is an experience unto itself.

I wish I'd had my camera.

what the shit happened??

2007-05-05T02:11:00.000-07:00

So all sorts of fucked up stuff's happened since I posted here last. On mayday the LAPD marchjed through Mcarthur Park teargassing and shooting un-armed families and newspeople with rubber bulletts and fucking bean bags. The New Standard, an excellent source for professional indy journalism went defunct from lack of funding and viewer involvement, and I got the worst stomach flu I think I have ever had... twice! and now I'm going to Europe... and Toronto.

I'll try and tackle each of these things in order, I have stuff to say about them all.

LAPD shooting women and children with teargass and rubber bulletts... given the reputation of the Los Angeles police I can't say that I'm completely surprised, that sounds really cynical but I mean they have a pretty mercenary reputation dwon there. So surprised no, shocked and ashamed and deeply upset, all of those things I am in spades. It fucking tears me up inside to think about it. I've read a number of reports and seen footage of the crime and I'm in shock. I tried to put some of my thoughts down over on the christian radical blog. I don't think I did a very good job. I wanted to be detached and try and approach it from an objective angle but in the end I'm not really sure I did a good job at it. However this is my own blog and so I don't feel any obligation towards journalism here so I'm just going to let it out. FUCK!

I mean really... FU 8 CK!

(I left that 8 in there for emphasis I don't think fuck does it on it's own)

so basically if this had been maybe sixty years ago or less those same pigs would have been marching through that crowd with real bulletts fucking shooting at children with live rounds. Somehow trying to describe what happened on May Day seems understated because one has to describe rubber bulletts and other "non-lethal" munitions but I don't want you reading this to have any mis-understanding about this. those rubber bullets can do real damage. I've seen pictures of people after the police had their sick fun bleading purple wealts and bruising up half a grown man's stomach. That's what those fucking rubber bulletts do, I didn't try and find pictures of the bean bags that were shot but I can't imagine them being any friendlier. I alao want to stress that this wasn't some kind of soccer riot where the crowd were all grown men either that rally was full of children and women too, whole families came out to show support and solidarity with illegal immigrants. It was a FAMILY affair! These peace officers matched through a park full of families and started shooting. there was no warning given. news camera operators were clubbed down and reporters. what the fuck?

People talk shit about how the US is turning into the third reich well it's not turning it's turned. It probably happened so gradually that no one could point it out unless perhaps you go all the way back to 9/11, the reichtag fire American style. Since then everything's changed, anyone can tell you that, this abominable act by the LAPD is the fruits of the new fascism. If I were writing this in the USA right now it'd probably be flagged by some alphabet agency and I wouldn't ever know. Actually the only time I've fealt any sense of danger blogging at all it's been when I'm in the states--land of the free, home of the brave. And let's make no mistake, the rest of the "free world" is not immune from this political illness, we all have blood on our hands and the security state insanity coursing through our natonal conciousness. It happened on May Day in Los Angeles, that doesn't mean it couldn't happen tomorrow in London or next week in Winnipeg, and the system isn't there to help us, it's there for only the very few. The rich and the powerfull and the white.

I could spit pages of this kind of ire right now but I think it would be counter productive. I think that the time for idle talk is slowly drawing to a close. Sure, even the independant media on the web will content themselves to banter on for a long time yet, certainly governments will try and keep debating that's the sort of obfuscation we pay them for anyway. But the time is coming where individual people need to start to take stock of what they believe relative to what they are doing in the world. God only knows what this means or what it will look like but I have no doubt that further police brutality will take place at other peaceful rallies and protests and that it's up to us to find creative, and non-violent ways of resisting. Because if we don't use our imagination and our compassion, and if we don't quickly shift out of this mode where it's so easy to pitty the other poor suckers who have it worse than us be they American's, Muslims, Iraqis, the homeless, or whomever then someone else will do it for us and it won't be good.

Ok that's enough about that.

Tonight I was reading news on the web and I learned that The New Standard has ceased reporting and are taking their site offline. The New Standard was a news source that I wish I had taken more advantage of while they were up. I hae to admit that one reason I didn't was that I knew next to nothing about their operation or their mission statement. Now that they are gone I feel like you do when you find out that someone you knew and liked as an aquaintance has just died. I should have gone there more, read their reporting more frequently, maybe donated if I could, but now I can't because they've stopped reporting and printing.

Back after Katrina, once the rest of the news organisations (including truthout and gnn) had moved on to other sexier stories the New Standard reported tirelessly on things that were still going on in NOLA. They could have been the only journalists left in the city two months on for all I knew, after all once the story lost some of it's urgency everyone else was on to the next big thing, but they were tireless. if you would like to learn a little more about this website and the group who ran it check out their obituary it's posted to gnn at www.gnn.tv/articles/3070/A_Eulogy_For_The_NewStandard

Stomach flu x2
damn. I'm still eating rice and bland foods though tonight I also had some hummus... mmm hummus. I was so sick three days ago that I had to get an ambulence to take me from ny GP to the hospital. I'll spare you the details but suffice it to say that the entire experience was crappy in every concievable sense of the word. It also brought to mind one of my favourite quotes by William Burroughs:

"Stool Sample: you can't get a drink in a bar when sitting on one, and you should never try and give them away for free at the super market... stool sample."

On Sunday I'm flying to Toronto for about a week and then I'm going to Italy with my mom and my brother, I'm pretty excited about it to tell you the truth. I'll write more about that as events take place.

that's it for nowI'm going to bed.
I'll edit this for spelling and punctuation tomorrow.

fire Paul Wolfowitz

2007-04-28T16:16:00.000-07:00

I got the following in an e-mail today. Personally I think that firing Wolfowitz is an important first step but that this shouldn't end until the World Bank and IMF are disolved and people around the world are encouraged to start looking ot each other for the help and support that is needed to create a just and better society the world over. A good first step might be to sign this petition and get that man out of any job where the economic fate of the third world is in his hands.
CR

The battle for the Presidency of the World Bank is coming to a climax, and it's a replay of the Iraq war: George Bush and Paul Wolfowitz vs the World. The world is on the verge of winning this time -- and we can help tip the balance.

On Monday Wolfowitz will testify before the Bank Board. At the same time, Bush will meet with European leaders to decide his fate. We need one last push to build our petition before we deliver it on Monday. Click below to sign it and pass it on to 5 friends:

http://www.avaaz.org/en/sack_wolfowitz

Our YouTube campaign against Wolfowitz's misleadership of the Bank has gone viral with over 100,000 views, and has been covered by USA Today, the Washington Post, and the Guardian (UK). World Bank staff have also been circulating it on their internal staff lists.

All the pressure is working. Governments around the world, the World Bank Staff Association, even Wolfowitz's own deputies believe he should resign. The World Bank is far from perfect. Some of its policies have helped alleviate poverty; others have made things worse. But fixing it is urgently important for the world's poor -- and no progress is possible so long as Wolfowitz is in charge.

Let's win this one. Sign the petition, and send it to five of your friends. It's time to show Bush that the world won't stand for Wolfowitz to stay.

http://www.avaaz.org/en/sack_wolfowitz

God have mercy

2007-04-27T01:56:00.000-07:00

I've got a stomach bug. I'm pretty sure that I single-handedly used a whole roll of toilet paper today, I'm dehydrated and everything I put into my stomach passes right on through faster than you'd believe.

bleh.

I feel like shit, I hope this is over soon.

it's all about the Russians

2007-04-23T01:03:00.000-07:00

getting ready for the zine. I'm hoping to have something ready in the next week. I keep missing Vespers recently but I've also been seeing people I havn't heard from in a year or more.

I got a whole lot of tapes today from a lady on the drive great music by Bad Brains and Helmet and Alice in Chains. Also got some good posters from beckwomans, that store's been around since I was born!

Also recently been listening to this http://www.rantradio.com/shows/newsreal/
it's kind of like democracy now vs. prison planet with a healthy dose of geek core and diatribe and the dude who makes this broadcast is from Vancouver... sweet.

argh. everything is in from writers for the zine and Karl's going to work on it presumably but I kind of hope it comes back in good time because I like making zines and this new deadline might mean I can take more time putting it together so I don't have to go agro for two days shutting myself in so it's ready on time.

just so you know there's going to be a lot of reprinted stuff this month... hope that changes.

I was a stock footage stoner

2007-04-20T14:22:00.000-07:00

I'm eating a bag of masala peas for breakfast. They are way better then wasabi peas much more flavour and still nice and hot. mmmmmmm Masala Peas

It's 4:20 day today. I can remember being a kid in highschool and going to the hemp rallies. One year I went down there and ended up on the news without realising it. Then for the next five years or so whenever the local news reported on a hemp rally they would pull out this old footage of my 16 year old ass getting high. I wonder if they still use that footage or if they've goten more recent stuff.

no I won't tell you what I'm upset about

2007-04-15T02:38:00.000-07:00

sometimes I wonder what's the fucking use.

yah that's right.

what's the fucking use?

tiring newsletter

2007-04-14T19:08:00.000-07:00

so I just finished making the newsletter I do for my union. I am packing it in. I have been dragging my heels about making it and it sucks not to get more help from the branch so I finished putting it together and wrote them to say that I've finished with it for now. lasty month there was nothing in it that had anything to do with us! I had to re-print things from the web just so there would be something to print.

this month I had to extend the deadline because only one person sent anything in on time.

I'm just griping right now but the truth is I'm in a tired sort of mood.

bleh

I remember you well in the chelsea hotel

2007-04-12T01:45:00.000-07:00

so in a couple of weeks I'll be going to Italy with my mom via New York and Toronto. the ticket's booked and things are startring to fall into place. I still need to find a way to get to Utica from Toronto I'll either take the dirty dog down or fly but I don't have that figured out, I'm actually not even sure that Utica NY has an airport... I'd rather take the bus anyway.

After visiting central NY I'll be meeting my family in NYC, I talked to my mom today about travel arrangements she's booked us rooms at the Chelsea Hotel. This is really exciting for me because the Chelsea is a really famous place. I think Bob Dylan was born there, Leonard Cohen wrote a song about the hotel and Syd Vicious killed Nancy Spungen there. I have no idea what it's going to be like to stay there but it's kind of neat to know that we'll be staying at a place that has so much history to it. Also, I'm going to Italy! For two weeks! w00t!

Into the flaunch plasmodulator

2007-04-11T13:12:00.001-07:00

I'm listening to a tape of something you might roughly be able to call music it was recorded by my friend Maarrq and myself back in highschool. Maarrq and I did a lot of recording back then, almost as much as we did drugs. We used to go hang out in his room at his parents house and drink homemade wine and smoke marijuana and cigarettes and make bad accoustic music usually recorded on an answering machine or on a hand held tape recorder. We called ourselves the flaunch plasmodulator and we had this great idea that if we ever got a gig someplace we'd get a couple of big refrigerator boxes and decorate them so that they looked like badly drawn super comupters from the 60's and then we'd sit inside them with our musical instruments and make awful music live inside the flaunch plasmodulator.

I'm just not sure how to discribe this stuff to you, it's two stoned, half drunk punk rock kids with an accoustic guitar, recorder flute, pots and pans, conch shell, trumpet, and answering machine. sometimes the guitar sounds really fucking emo, dissonant voices sometimes trying to out shout eachother, sometimes trying not to wake up his parents. we never actually wrote any songs we'd improvise our lyrics and sometimes it worked really well more often it didn't if I were someone who isn't me listening to this and I didn't know anything about it I'd probably want my money back from the people who sold it to me...

I wish we had made that cardboard computer and played a gig somewhere.

giving up second hand smoke

2007-04-11T01:30:00.000-07:00

After spending a week in Revelstoke with the old man I realised that my body is having a withdrawl from second hand smoke. I gave up smoking almost three years ago now but though I can live in close quarters with a heavy smoker for a week and not feel tempted to hit him up for a butt my body is telling me that it mmisses the fumes. To this I have to say a resounding fuck! I'm sure it will blow over but in the mean time I don't like being reminded of the addiction and I wish I didn't have to feel this all over again even though it's relatively minor compared to when I originally quit. If you feel so inclined though could you say a prayer for me about this? I don't normally ask for prayers for myself or over the internet but I live in a Catholic Worker house where one of my housemates smokes in her room and I feel sensitive to this kind of thing at the moment, by the grace of God I've gone this long as a non-smoker and I like not having a monkey on my back any more.

in other, better news the Russian Orthodox Church Outside Russia (ROCOR) is in the process of becoming re-communicated with the Moscow Patriarchate. ROCOR split off durring the cold war because of the institutional Russian church complicity with the Soviet rulership. This was not universal, there were countless martyrs in Russia and many holy priests, monks and lay-people who didn't bend to the new class but there were also many priests monks and church-goers who fingered people and helped the state. This break has been a long time in healing, some members of ROCOR are still hesitant even to the point of wanting to break with those seeking reunification but even if that were to happen I believe that the healing of the Russian church is inevitable and if it has to be like pulling off a band-aid (slow and at times sore) it will help let old wounds air and heal and that can only be good.

God bless the healing of the Russian church may the memories of those martyred be for the healing of her wounds and the re-communing of her spirit. Amen.

coming home from Revlo-stoke

2007-04-10T00:16:00.000-07:00

Every year I come out here and every year I intend on buying myself one of those Revlo ice cream bars. You know the ones, that thin layer of waxy fake chocolate covering some vanilla flavoured "icecream" which is probably a petrolium bi-product... anyway I always joke about that and every time I come out here I forget then this year I actually tried to remember to look for a place that sells them but I havn't seen a single one. Do they still make them? they were nothing compared to the fudgecicle but fudgecicle just doesn't sound like Revelstoke.

It's hard to keep the Orthodox fast out here, I thought I had told my dad thsat I was abstaining from meat and dairy but I must have forgotten, the dietary rules kind of went out the window of the greyhound over here (you try and find a bus depo between here and Calgary that caters to vegans and you will be s.o.l.).

This week's been good though I always enjoy visiting the old man.

go lent!

2007-04-05T19:06:00.000-07:00

tentacles for dinner.

tentacles for breakfast.

I'm in Revelstoke right now visiting my pops. It's a hard place to keep the lenten fast particularly the no-meat part. This is a great town to visit but I wouldn't want to live here, working on a chap book for a poet I met last year in LA. I'm using a wireless connection from someone elses appartment. go internet!

I'll be back in Vancouver in time for Bright Week, looking forward to eating steak. Have a great Easter weekend everyone.

-Chris

Doukhobor choir music

2007-03-30T01:17:00.000-07:00

I really love this stuff. A few years ago I was corresponding with a girl from Victoria who was Doukhobor and also getting a degree in music from Uvic, her specialty was Doukhobor choir music and she also apparently had a great set of pipes being operatically trained and such. She was the first Doukhobor I'd ever met who wasn't also a relative of mine so that was cool, she sent me mp3's of some traditional music and I had them all on my old computer, I especially love the psalms. the Doukhobor Psalter comprises a large part of an even larger oral tradition which for a very long time was the foundation of the religion. Being a heretical breakway sect in Russia my ancestors suffered a lot at the hands of both the church and the Tsar they were victims of progroms and were routinely sent to forced labour camps in Siberia where the hope was that they would work themselves to death. There's a story in my family about one of my great-great-grand fathers who was conscripted into the millitary where in protest he refused to carry any form of weapon and refused to ackgnowlege the ranking officers, he was sent to a millitary prison where they flayed him to death and threw his body onto a pile of horse shit.

Anyway this is sort of coming back to Doukhobor Choir music. Doukhobor worship as I understand it could be described as charismatic, centred on the Holy Spirit and in communal singing. The number of hymns and psalms is amazing, nobody knows them all and until relativly recently nobody who knew them knew how to write them down. Another thing that developed from being forced into gulags was since they weren't allowed to sing their prayers or hymns they would take one of their songs or something like the Lord's Prayer and then chant it in a monotone and drag out every word for as long as possible so that way the guards wouldn't immediatly catch on to what they were singing. The girl who told me all about this didn't like the chanting as much as some of the other Doukhobor music but I think that's one of the best parts of the tradition.

The majority of Doukhobors were rescued from genocide by the efforts of Leo Tolstoy, the Quakers and members of the international Anarchist community most notably Peter Kropotkin. The novel Ressurection by Tolstoy was written as a way for money to be raised so that the Doukhobors could move to Canada and the book The Kingdom of God is Within You was based in part on correspondances that Tolstoy had with Peter Verrigan The Lordly who became the leader of the sect after one of my relatives Lukeria Kalmykova died.

I'm writing all about this now because I found an old sample tape where I had dubbed a couple of the songs off of my computer. I would love to learn what the words they are singing actually mean but I'd have to learn russian or borrow the skills of one of my friends... Josina can I use your mind for a few minutes?

this is going to be a good show.

2007-03-29T22:48:00.000-07:00

The War Resisters Support Campaign Presents:

War Resist Tour

Featuring Toronto Hip Hop Artist
Mohammad Ali

8:00 PM Friday March 30
Rhizome Cafe - 317 E. Broadway

A benefit to support US war resisters seeking refuge in Canada
$5 at the door

For more info: www.resisters.ca and
www.myspace.com/mcmohammadali

only the cold war could have produced Ayn Rand

2007-03-29T17:52:00.000-07:00

I wonder what kinds of strange appologism we'll see in this era?

recording!

2007-03-29T17:35:00.000-07:00

http://www.cluborlov.com/ClubOrlov/ConfSlides/index.html

the above link I nabbed from Larry Gambone's blog http://porkupineblog.blogspot.com/

it's a powerpoint thing about the collapse of the American empire compared to the collapse of the USSR, fascinating stuff you should check it out.

in other news today I went back into the studio to work on my next CD, The Autobiography. I'm working on this with an old friend of mine who's become a professional music producer and plays keyboards in Front Line Assembly. It's really great to be working with him on this, I can remember when we were both just kids, pretentious as fuck and spending our weekends high at all ages shows at Seylinn Hall. How far we've both gone from then. I don't know how long this one is going to take but it will be a lot shorter than the preious CD which btw if you want copies of I can send them by mail or something, that or you could stop me in the street and ask me to get you one. I have no website, myspace, distribution, I'm burning them at home so really it's pretty fucking ghetto right now and I don't know when that'll change. I'll have copies of the first CD at the gig tomorrow...

its such a psain in the ass to hand write all the stuff on the cd sleves I'm going to do this instrumental album differently, I'll probably sit on it for a while and then get it professionally pressed in small batches.

sword of the mind, a sword which heals.

2007-03-27T22:57:00.000-07:00

I had an interesting conversation at work today, it started off being about the comodification of learning, how the free market has all but destroyed education for it's own sake. Then, meandering through Karl Marx and past the "lost tomb of jesus" we wound up with a rather passionate and confounding discussion about the church in the first three centuries.

It's interesting how when I try and talk about early Christianity with people, most folks can't seem to concieve of a world where Christianity and Oligarchy aren't synonymous. Mention the church in the first centuries and people seem to envision some midevil world where the church is already well ensconced as an oppressive force. If you try and explain to these people that there was a time when you could be killed by the state just for telling someone you believed in Jesus it doesn't quite register, and that's to say nothing of Russia.

There is always this readiness for people to believe that throughout history Christianity was always a tool of the state, employed primarily in the validation of feudal patriarchy and empire, a weapon of the ruling class. Try and tell someone of a radical bent that two thousand years earlier they would have been tighter with the Christians than the Pagans and they shut it out. I wonder as I proof-read this how people might react when confronted with the simple reality that in all totalitarian regimes the rule of empire comes through the suppression of true Christianity, wether it's through the fascisms of Mao, Stalin, Hitler, Bush or Cesear.

I shouldn't be surprised, after all nearly fifteen hundred years of church and state has sapped the cultural imagination in the West. I imagine it would be easier for someone of Eastern European or Palestinian descent to identify with the Catacomb Church. But the word of the day in our modern, bourgeois society remains "religion, the opiate of the masses". It remains this because it's comfortable; and this watchword is intellectual robbery.

Sloganeering robbs people of the truth because it denies further thought and replaces it with easy to memorise and convienient sound bites "better dead than red", "The Bible says it, God wrote it, that settles it", "Religion is the opiate of the masses". Religion isn't the opiate of the masses, rather power and it's aquisition by any means nescessary is the opiate and religiosity and fake piety are too often the blasphemous smoke screens by which the unscrupulous trick the un-wary and seek to silence or discredit those genuine saints and heros who give their lives in the service of a higher truth.

For every person who cites Hobbes or Maciavelli to me as an example of Christianity's triumph over all things good and free, I wonder what they'd say after reading The Little Flowers of St. Francis of Assisi, the life of St. Mary of Egypt, or the Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer? And as I mention the saints who put Hobbes in his shameful place I wonder to myself why the church is so willing to ban books like Harry Potter while doing nothing with Maciavelli's The Prince. And then I wonder why any church should presume to keep an index of banned books at all, and why I should encourage it--if even hypothetically?

I tried--but failed--to explain to my incredulous customer today that there was once a time when the only weapons a Christian was allowed to use were the weapons of the spirit: the works of mercy practiced in genine sacrificial love, the charisims of intelligent and thoughtful witness and the Holy Spirit of God at work within us. At the time of Origen and Justin Martyr and even at the time of Augustine these were the weapons of the faithful; not to be used as so many try today, to bludgeon people over the head, either with one's own opinons or worse still with the Bible, rather the use of refutation in a loving and intelligent way. A way which was un afraid to call things by their proper names but which never intended to cause pain, indeed which was even capable of grieving with those hurt.

It's with these intellectual and emotional tools that the early Christian appologists and theologians went to work, taking apart the arguments and philosophies of their opponents with patience and with care. It was with their minds and with their words and with reason through the Spirit that the early Christian heresies were shown to be fallacious and it was through reason, through thoughtful dialogue, and by the faith of the martyrs that converts were won.

Only after the marriage of church and state and the advent of the "Christian" empire did conversion by force, and refutation with the sword become the fasion--as it still is today. And it's been through violence that the worst perversions of faith and morals have found their genesis. This can be seen even today as politicians and other people in leadership roles try and associate faith with national pride, or by making a show of their own sanctity. To the credit of most athiests, when they rail against Christianity what they are attacking is most often the stench of false religion, the hypocricy of faith used as a political tool, or as validation for the very things Christ spoke out against for his entire life.

The defense of power which motivated the rulers of Cesear's empire and the chief priests and hierarchs of many nations to execute the faithful within them. The defense of worldly power which sent Jesus to the cross and continues to send martyrs to their graves. The retaliation of empires against the treson of proclaiming that the only true king is Christ and that his kingdom is coming; a kingdom where every tear is wiped dry and where this present world will no longer be brought to mind.

fun with real audio?

2007-03-27T02:05:00.000-07:00

Since moving to a place where my house mates value my creativity I've started breaking out the tapes again. For those of you who don't know I am a bit of an electro-accoustic nut. I love to collect sounds and samples from various places and then when I have the right gear and friends to make noise with I'll put it together with them in the last few years I've been part of two noise and sound collage projects both unfortunatly are on hold right now. One, North is on an indefinite absence as the co-creator Spud has moved to the UK with his spouse and the other, The Empire of Crime needs tto start making stuff and doing things again because I now live only a few blocks from British Mark and have a preponderance of spare time and musical equipment. Tonight I was thinking about making a tape of percussion that I could play on a ghettoblaster to keep time durring my folk set on friday, it didn't work out and instead turned into me playing waist deep in the big muddy several times and trying to overlay them unsuccessfully, I was hoping it would come out better than it did but because of the song and the way I've taught myself to play it it sounds more like an exercise in tedium than the fun with real audio I was having.

Right now I'm listening to one of the sample tapes that I've been working on, most of it is sounds from the inside of the VAG where I took the tape recorder on a walk about the Andy Warhol exhibit last year, there's some real gold but most of it was unfortunate static, though this means that I can take the tape out and record over a bunch of things and other sounds could be used ambiently if I ever wanted to.

man I'm tired. There will be no audiotape mischief at my gig, too much work and not enough time. I wish I had my drum machine here.

I have a problem

2007-03-26T22:36:00.000-07:00

either that or a very interesting passtime.

Have you ever been to craigslist sites in other countries? Have you ever just gone online to see what kinds of stuff people give away in the free section? I was just on the LA craigslist site and man they give away the best shit down there. Why can't people ever give away good stuff up here or why is it that I just don't know about it? After I finish blogging about this I'm going to see what I could get for free if I lived in Tel Aviv.

The weather outside today was a Godsend! I rode my bike along the seawall to work and picked up a DVD collection of Fritz Lang's Dr. Mabuse films there's three of them on one DVD. Not the Last Testament of Dr. Mabuse unfortunatly that one is my favourite but I've got three of the other ones now. I also went to this new thai place next door and got some really awsome noodles.

On my way home I got some MASSIVE GUAVA JUICE and red bean cakes at TnT and have just spent a bunch of time surfing the free sections. I met the dude who I'm opening for on Friday, he's cool, I'll have to try and find some CD sleves so I can take some copies of my album to sell.

for now I'm going to see what's for free in Tel Aviv and listen to Wall of Voodoo...

... Israeli Craigslist sucks nothing free in Jerusalem, Haifa, or Tel Aviv. I'm dissappointed but not completely surprised.

Sometimes I surprise even myself!

2007-03-25T19:21:00.000-07:00

I made a thai curry for dinner tonight, I've never made a curry before. This is something I've got to do more often. Actually, this is something I am going to do again in a coupple of days.

So tasty... so... spicy...

mmmmmmmcurry.

Archbishop Oscar Romero

2007-03-24T16:13:00.000-07:00

Today is the first ever official feast day for the Archbishop Oscar Romero, this year the Episcopal Church added the Salvadorean martyr to their calendar of saints, twenty seven years after his death at the hands of death squad mercenaries trained and funded by America.

God rest his soul, and have mercy on his executioners.

"I would like to appeal in a special way to the men of the army, and in particular to the troops of the National Guard, the Police, and the garrisons. Brothers, you belong to our own people. You kill your own brother peasants; and in the face of an order to kill that is given by a man, the law of God should prevail that says: Do not kill! No soldier is obliged to obey an order counter to the law of God. No one has to comply with an immoral law. It is time now that you recover your conscience and obey its dictates rather than the command of sin. The Church, defender of the rights of God, of the law of God, of the dignity of the human person, cannot remain silent before so much abomination.

We want the government to seriously consider that reforms mean nothing when they come bathed in so much blood. Therefore, in the name of God, and in the name of this long-suffering people, whose laments rise to heaven every day more tumultuous, I beseech you, I beg you, I command you in the name of God: Cease the repression!"

- Saint Oscar Romero, August 15th 1917 – March 24th 1980

I'm playing a gig!

2007-03-23T16:26:00.000-07:00

Opening for this guy...

The War Resisters Support Campaign Presents:

War Resist Tour

Featuring Toronto Hip Hop Artist
Mohammad Ali

8:00 PM Friday March 30
Rhizome Cafe - 317 E. Broadway

A benefit to support US war resisters seeking refuge in Canada
$5 at the door

For more info: www.resisters.ca and
www.myspace.com/mcmohammadali

maybe I need a new kind of website

2007-03-23T13:21:00.000-07:00

Made updates to the Christian Radical blog, so much to post, so many things that shouldn't go un observed so little space on the blog, even though I update every day and the stuff stays up for a whole week the blog format is woefully incomplete particularly since I don't know how to use html code and there is always something to post. I've got it in my mind something akin to truthout.org where there's a front page with headlines and photos where you can click on the headlines that interest you and they take you to the story and a link to their site of origin and other links where you can watch video footage and a place where all the back issues are collected in both online and print friendly versions. In my website fantasy this site would also act as a website for the Van CW with information about the Catholic Worker here in Vancouver, the house/houses, our activities, a paypal section where you could donate to help the community, maybe a place where you could order CD's I've recorded (the money would go to the worker) and with links to other affilliated groups and contact info for people who might want to get involved or volunteer.

This would be the best but I don't think it will happen in the immediate future, the thing I'd like to learn first is how to do the equivalent of an JL-cut in blogger. For those of you who never used live journal, an LJ-cut is a link that says (read more here) if you were posting a long story or whatever to your blog you could abbreviate it on the main page with one of those, clicking on the link would take you to another page where you could read the whole story and post comments if you wanted to. this bit of code made blogging a lot easier when I still used LJ, knowing the html equivalent would really help over at the christian radical blog.

I'm going to have to rock the claritin

2007-03-22T14:37:00.000-07:00

Oh man, after not living with a cat for almost seven years I'm starting to realise just how alergic I am to them. it just hit today, the itchy eyes and the clogged nose... I wonder how much worse it'll get. I guess I'll have to keep my room cat free and rock the anti-histamines this year. On the other hand stroking a cat in my lap makes me feel a bit like a Bond villan, now all I need is a swivvel chair and a shark tank, or maybe a sattelite....

hehehehe nintendo quiz

2007-03-22T00:05:00.000-07:00

:: how nintendo are you? ::

Wall of Voodoo

2007-03-21T02:14:00.000-07:00

God Belss Youtube.

seriously though this site might be just about the best thing going on the web. Since I started actually using this site I've found live footage of so many bands I grew up loving but will never be able to see live. Tonight I've been watching live footage of a group called Wall of Voodoo. If you remember these guys at all it's probably for the one big hit they had, Mexican Radio. I can remember when my mom bought their album by the same name. I think I was six or seven years old and she had bought it because she had heard the song on the CBC and decided to check them out. It's really odd the way my mom does that with some bands and stranger that many of my favourite groups have made their way into my life through her.

Wall of Voodoo were really one of the strangest for sure, I never would have figured my mom to like them and perhaps this is why the tape passed so easily into my hands and stuck around, I finally lost track of it on New Years 2000 when I left it at an art squat near Main and Hastings street. Most of the bands a person likes when they're seven or so get pushed aside once you hit puberty and start trying to be cool. This only happened with Wall of Voodoo because I think I lost the tape for a while because when I found it again in highschool I couldn't stop listening to it then when I lost the tape I bought it on vinyl. They were certainly one of the most unique bands to come out of the LA punk rock scene.

I'm embedding a video clip of one of my favourite songs from them here

I changed the video above to a better live clip from the album I was writing about. One of the things I like best about this group is the way that Stan Ridgeway wrote songs, his use of narrative is something really uncommon in popular music these days. They also used to do covers of Woody Guthrie songs in their own peculiar style. They have a version of Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash that's really worth searching for.

this one's for you Rob

2007-03-19T21:46:00.001-07:00

toothpastefordinner.com

these election seasons vote Joe Octo the people's octopus

2007-03-19T00:18:00.000-07:00

a post to the comments section a few days ago brought back to mind my idea of trying to get an octopus into the municipal election. It never got past the talking stage but there's a bit more to the story.

A few years ago I went to Ottawa to visit friends and family. When I go out to O-town I usually stay with my God-mom and look forward to spending time with her kids who are about my age and we've sort of, but not quite, grown up together so they're like family but not close enough to call siblings yet they are closer to me than most of my friends. Anyway Jess the oldest hitchiked down from Northern Ontario with her boyfriend and got there just in time to see me for a day before I came home. She took me to this Chinese supermarket on Wellington street, it was like a smaller, dirtier version of the TNT near Stadium Station. As we were perusing the isles I came uppon the most astounding thing: a bag of DRIED FUCKIN OCTOPUS!

I was so excited by this discovery that no sooner had I seen them than I decided we needed to buy some. I bought a pre-sealed bag of five and we left the shop. On our way home we picked up some strange flavoured "guava" juice from a neighbouring vietnamese place, this guava juice had cyrilic writing on one half of the can and it was one of those soup can things with the soda can tops, so we were sitting at a bus stop after drinking our soviet guava juice and we hatched a plot involving octopi.

The plan was this, to go around and put dried octopus in the toilets at public restrooms, the goal was that if we both did it on either side of the country and got other people to get in on this with us, that eventually an urban legend would start up about octopus in public toilets. And concievably you could one day be cautioned against using the public facillities at a place because of the octopus.

For me this started a long love affair with the idea of octopus doing things they ought not to be doing... like running for Mayor, or Prime Minister as an independant candidate. We could get a live octopus and at the debates we get it into an aquarium with a tie arround it and then have one of those LCD stock ticker things stream the responses or the speech or whatever... it was going to be marvelous.

I did a google image search one bored night with the word octopus and found a picture of an octopus hiding in a pine tree and I used to use it as an icon on msn and live journal when I had my last computer, never ever do an image search for octopus... there are some things a man was never meant to see and it's all on the internet.

Meanwhile the pre-sealed bag of dried octopus hung from a tack on the wall of my apartment with the word OCTOPOLUTION written on it in black felt marker, it hung there for some months.

Then one day I decided that talk was cheap and I wanted an excuse not to do my homework so I walked down to the starbucks on the corner with my octobag and went into the lavatory. I placed a single dried octopus in the toilet, giggled to myself for a little while and after waiting an appropriate ammount of time I washed my hands and left. I sat outside the starbucks for a while but got nervous about being fingered as the asshole who left the octopus in the toilet so I finished my coffee and went home.

I never did find out what became of that octopus and the prank died soon after I got home when I discovered how dried octopus smells after you've had it hanging in a bag on your wall for months. It took a few days to get that horrible smell out of my place and my backpack and it involved me throwing out the rest of the octopus and vowing never again to buy dried octopi for nefarious reasons.

Joe Octo for city council would have been a good stunt too but every so often I think about the poor barista who had to fish a re-constituted octopus from the washroom at that starbucks and giggle. I'd feel worse except I know that he or she now has an equally interesting story to tell about the time somebody left an octopus in the toilet at work.

no more nights in the house of anger

2007-03-19T00:03:00.000-07:00

So today was trhe long anticipated moving day. and it took considerably less time than I had anticipated. My mom had arranged for a friend of hers with a van to help me out, though I had no idea when she told me this that the van was a full on moving van! I got everything moved in one go and now I'm settling into my new room at Samaritan House. Sadly I missed church today and vespers the yesterday night. I really intended to be ant one of the two but I got there late yesterday and slept through my alarm this morning but I'm moved! And to make things that much easier my agro-roommate got her fiancee (who's a really decent guy) to ask me if he and T could move in that day, I told him I still had to clean the room out because the land lady had advanced me my damage deposit and I didn't want to be a slacker about it but he told me that his old lady really wanted to move in that day and they would clean the room themselves I accepted, gave him my key, lent him my vacuum and told him to give me a call when he'd have a free afternoon so I could come back and pick it up, I'm thinking I might also take my garbage can which I left in the washroom though I might just let them keep that too. I'm just so happy to knock the dirt from those shoes and move into the worker. I played guitar for the first time in six months, I mean really played held nothing back and just belted it out, it felt so good. Apparently Sarah here has got me a gig playing a benifit for War Resisters on the 3oth, I'll post the info soon, I need to get it and it will go up on both blogs. Right now I'm just so pleased with my new diggs.

it's funny because it's true

2007-03-15T23:04:00.001-07:00

toothpastefordinner.com

Beware the ides of March

2007-03-15T02:45:00.001-07:00

On March 17, march and rally with thousands to say: "Canada out of Afghanistan, into Kyoto!"

War Resister Support Campaign contingent, meet at the banner "WAR RESISTERS WELCOME HERE"

Saturday, March 17 Gather: 12:30pm at English Bay (Denman & Davie) March: 1:00pm Rally: 2:00pm at the Vancouver Art Gallery (Georgia & Hornby)

Featuring:

-Francisco Juarez, Canada's first Afghanistan war resister
-Colleen McCrory of the Valhalla Wilderness Society
-Onesimo Hidalgo, co-director of the Center for Economic Research and Social Action in San Cristobal de las Casas, Chiapas, Mexico
-Great live music by Headwater
(http://www.headwaterband.com/), Ndidi Cascade and Deanna, and the Carnival Band.

On the weekend marking the 4th anniversary of the Iraq War, join tens of thousands across the country in sending a loud message to Ottawa: Fight climate change, not wars for oil! Bring the troops home from Afghanistan.

March 17th is a pan-Canadian Day of Action. To find events in other cities, check out the Canadian Peace Alliance listings:
http://www.acp-cpa.ca/en/M172007Events.htm

StopWar.ca is a broad-based coalition with over 160 endorsing organizations. For more information, email contact@stopwar.ca.

--
- All events organized or endorsed by StopWar.ca, a broad-based coalition with over 160 endorsing organizations and prominent individuals.

- For more anti-war information:

www.stopwar.ca, www.zmag.org, www.unitedforpeace.org, www.haitiaction.net, http://www.stopwar.org.uk/, http://electroniciraq.net/

zombies!

2007-03-14T17:14:00.000-07:00

Reminder for zombies lacking brains...

Calling classy zombies of all persuasions for a ...

! Gala Premiere Screaming of "Fido" !
A heartworming film about a boy and his pet zombie...

Thursday, March 15th; show up at 6:30pm SHARP! Paramount Theatre (Burrard and Smithe) - sophistication neon style! Zombies get in free!

Hot zombie starlets, suave zombie fellas, and undead big-shots of all kinds are invited to this gala affair.

If you're more inclined to be on the other side of the lens, then bring along a camera and a nosey-parker attitude - zombie paparazzi are invited as well, just to make things fair.

Lurch, bike, car pool or cab your way to the red carpet for the premiere Vancouver screaming of Fido, a homegrown Pleasantville-meets-The Power of Nightmares-with-zombies film (more info here: http://fidothemovie.com/ )

If you're coming from work, think day-to-night Barbie, but with more rotting. If you've been sitting in front of a computer all day then chances are you're already half-way there!

If you're unemployed then you should have no problems disguising yourself as an actor...adding zombie to the equation isn't really that much more of a stretch.

Try to keep your oozing to a minimum as the poor ushers at the Paramount don't get paid nearly enough to clean zombie goo from the seat upholstery.

Little poster can be found here in the comments section:
http://www.myspace.com/zombiewalkvancouver

hit the wall

2007-03-13T23:07:00.000-07:00

I didn't get nearly enough sleep last night. I've been punchy all day and propping myself up with caffine. I'm going to sleep right now sweet sleep. sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

4 am rumblings

2007-03-13T04:03:00.000-07:00

my typing hand is all numb and cold. I've decided to start work on a new CD. I hope to be able to record it once I've moved into Samaritan House, I have all the nescessary accoutrements: mandolin, guitars, amp, digital four track, jewsharp, microphones, other instruments I'm not afraid to play, and friends I could persuade to master my footage. I'll have something else too, more time and neighbours who like my music and encourage me to play it. All I need now is the grace of God that this actually happens and doesn't turn into a post about something that never takes place.

I'm not going to say much more other than it's going to be a covers album, I realised tonight that I know a lot of cover songs, a surprising number actually, I started playing them about 3am and I just finished a few minutes ago. I'm looking forward to moving into a place where I'll be able to actually make music without worrying about the neighbours.

further thoughts about the world wide web

2007-03-12T01:21:00.000-07:00

Spent the last hour or so reading about John Hutchison. John Hutchison is a self-taught electrical engineer who has a host of scientific phenomena named after him. I first heard about him a few years ago when The Empire of Crime was still active. I tracked down his e-mail adress after findng out that he lives in Vancouver. I wanted to collect audio samples of his lab when all the gear was running he brushed me off and that was it. I am still fascinated by his claims concerning the hutchison effect (google it, or search youtube, you'll find all kinds of neat stuff). At the time he was more interested in being a discovery channel personality, it makes me sad that when I found his blog today he's posted his resume. I guess zero-point energy and levitating cannonballs just isn't as hot an item these days, it's too bad the effect is so hard to reproduce if he was able to get the interest of some real scientists who were able to reproduce faithfully his effect and study it and its applications masybe he wouldn't be peddling his resume on the web.

After being let down by his reply I recorded some really distorted synth stuff that Spud and I made and I used the tape of it with British Mark to make the song The Hutchison Effect that's on our CD, I really need to get another copy of it so I can sell it or give it to people, it sucks but I no longer have most of the Empire of Crime material.

I've made arrangements to be moved out of here on Saturday which gives me a week to finish packing and cleaning my place out.

Went for Jamaican food on Main street for dinner, there's a place that has jerk tofu roti. mmmm jerk.

I miss being able to get out on my bike and ride around downtown. Partly it's this fucking weather and partly it's the location but once I'm moved into Samaritan House I anticipate I'll be able to take up my old habit of night riding. I miss the ocean at 2:00am.

I'm so bored. I slep too long after mass today and now it's 3:am and I'm not tired in the least. I have work tomorrow but it's not like I have to get up really early or anything. maybe if the weather is ok I'll go and ride in the cemetery, I'm amped for spring... I can't wait for it to stop raining.

tired of the news

2007-03-11T23:39:00.000-07:00

yup, that's right, in less than four years I've gone from apathetic and not caring about current events to being a self described "inveterate news junky" who would read internet news sites for hours on end and find it all engrossing, to being sick of the news and no longer really caring all that much. I have become jaded and bored and frustrated that the internets just don't serve up the goods so much any more. thank God the web has more to it than news websites or I'd probably never log on again... bleh

bands I'm really enjoying these days

2007-03-06T00:22:00.000-08:00

A not too factually accurate shortlist of my favourite bands (I've got lots more)

in response to a friend's recent blog entry at www.followthekoala.blogspot.com and also because I went to see Sebadoh last Saturday I thought I'd make a short list of bands that rock my software all day long:

The Arcade Fire! I went to see these guys play at the Agrodome a couple of years ago and it was one of the most amazing concerts I've ever seen. you can check out their web page at
http://www.arcadefire.com/flash.html

Sebadoh: I've seen them twice now. They are easily one of my all time favourite groups and Lou Barlow has had a marked influence on my own music. Their early stuff is better but despite being given to the occasionally over-sentimental indie-rock ballad (or album) they managed to develop some of their best qualities as late as their second to last album. They recently re-united with their original line-up and re-released one of their best and hasrdest to find CD's; III they have a website at http://www.sebadoh.com/

Resplendant: I wrote to the dude who used to record with Resplendant and told him that his albums (all available for free on the website www.resplendent.com) was one of the reasons I got back into playing and recording. He wrote me back thanking me, I guess he had given up in frustration and my e-mail was well timed encouragement. The later projects he did are also available to download for free on the same site. They do a good cover of a Rites of Spring song.

Guided By Voices: I have two of their albums on my computer and another mix CD that my friend Jill gave me a year or two ago. I don't know why but every album I've heard by them seems more like they just record clips of their songs and hope you'll catch them live for the whole thing. despite this I can'tr stop listening. http://gbv.com/

Joan of Arc: These guys are one of the very best bands to ever come out of Chicago, they've gone from being a vaguely-electronic manifestation of the early Emo group Cap N Jazz to being an ever shifting collective of musicians who aren't afraid of taking music to places it might never get to again in a hundred years, combining free-jazz, punk, electronic sounds and complex guitar with sometimes cynical always poetic lyrics and distinctive vocals I want them to come to Vancouver and play multiple shows so I can see them twice in a row.
http://www.joanfrc.com/bands.html

Eric's Trip: if you've known me a long time you still havn't known me longer than I've known about this group. I've also seen them twice (Once at Another Roadside Attraction festival in High River Alberta and again when they played their reunion tour at Richards on Richards) They were darlings of the Halifax Pop Explosion which occurred in the late nineties producing groups like Sloan, Jail, and The Hardship Post and bringing industry attention to Canada's untapped maritimes punk scene. They were originally on Murder Records and later moved to Sub Pop before breaking into pieces the two best being Elevator and The Wooden Stars
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric's_Trip
http://ogami.subpop.com/bands/ericstrip/et.html
http://www.juliedoiron.com/html/about.html
http://www.elevator.ca/main.htm

Stan Rogers: This man is a Canadian hero. there isn't another band or musician who can make me choke up like this man's songs can. Along with Nick Drake and a hand full of other musicians this man embodies modern folk music. He died too soon.
http://www.stanrogers.net/

Nick Drake: Nick Drake was obscurre and under appreciated in his lifetime, he had bi-polar mood disorder and died as a result of an accidental overdose of his medication his almum Pink Moon and the recently released home recordings that he made near the end of his life fill me with awe. http://www.nickdrake.com/index.html

Johnny Cash: I don't need to say any more about the man in black, let his music speak for him. God rest his soul. http://www.johnnycash.com/

Current 93: I can't talk about my favourite groups without a curious tilt of the head towards Current 93. Current 93 started as a group formed by front man David Tibet and one or two others, Tibet was friends with Gennisis P. Orridge and the Psyckik TV crowd. At the time the band was named Tibet was heavily influenced by Crowley and was a Thelemite. His music which was a combination between traditional sounding european folk music and really creepy sounding instrumental pieces evolved with Tibet's religious development taking the band from thelemic inspired rock through esoteric Buddhism into Gnostic Christianity and then firmly into actual Christianity . About four years ago (about the time I un-lapsed my Catholicism) David Tibet released his last CD with Current 93 and announced that he was changing his name, dropping "tibet" and disowning the earlier half his back catalogue of recordings claiming that the CD's from Thunder Perfect Mind to the final one were the ones which most clearly reflected his religious and mystical outlook. One of his CD's uses an illumination by Saint Hildegaard of Bingen as it's cover and Thunder Perfect Mind is one of my favourite CD's though I have a hard time sitting down to listen to a lot of his stuff all at once and individual CD's of his are hard to find and expensive, better to rip them from the web I doubt he'd mind. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Current_93

Husker Du: I don't think placing them last in this list is right but the short list is getting pretty long. Husker Du released two of the best rock records ever made one after the other New Day Rising and Zen Arcade, their early stuff is fairly generic 80's hardcore and their albums that came after began the slow descent into the mainstream but those two albums are pieces of sheer beauty mixing a raw intensity with a guitar sound I've spent twelve years trying to emulate and never quite getting it (they use pedals I have an accoustic). The lead Singer Bob Mould went on to make some good stuff with the group Sugar.
http://world.std.com/~thirdave/hd.html

The Fall: My mom bought me a CD called The Complete A-Sides one year for Christmas, they are kind of like a hard rock Scottish version of the B52's only a lot better than that description makes out. http://www.thefall.info/fallsite/index.php

Joy Division and New Order are really awsome and I'm not going to elaborate on that statement http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joy_Division

The Winks are a group from Vancouver who've moveed to Montreal. I went to highschool with the two founding members and one of them, Todd, helped me to record my own CD. they are a chello and mandolin duet with sometimes drums and sometimes a lot of other stuff, I don't know who's in the Montreal incarnation of their group but their music is awsome and I miss them. www.thewinks.net

negativland have the distinction of being sued both by U2 and Casey Casem over the same song they have been really prolific for a joke band and have been part of the debate over intellectual property rights since before the internet was a consumer object. don't buy their CD's if you can get them for free on the internet I know they love file sharing and if you were to talk with any of them they'd probably tell you to rip their stuff instead of buying it. of course if you're going to spend the cash the CD's ABC's of Anarchy, Dispepsi, and the Leter U and the Numeral 2 are all good ones to look for http://www.negativland.com/

ok that's the list. I hope you find some good stuff here, maybe comment with groups you think I should listen to, since I stopped listening to radio in grade 7 and can't afford to buy a lot of music these days I'm always looking for good bands to expand my horizons with.

waiting for the other shoe to drop

2007-03-03T04:53:00.000-08:00

I should be in bed. I finished making both versions of the zine almost two hours ago but I want to squeeze the last of the web out before it gets cut off. I don't think it will be for too long. Luke, the room mate who doesn't do anything actually bought the router and so I would suspect that he's going to get a new connection going here which will be nice it will mean I've spent a lot of time fretting over nothing. On the other hand it will be good to have to find other ways of communicating and entertaining myself. To tell you the truth I don't really get that much entertainment out of the web these days. I use it to blog, read too much news, watch video clips of old hardcore punk bands that broke up in the eighties and read web comics and my friends blogs. I'm not as sucked into the virtual world of an online community as I was this time last year with livejournal but I'm not having that much fun on here. the internet is a cold and lonely place for those of us who aren't fooling ourselves with sites like friendster or myspace or facebook which promise the user an endless and expanding social scene but end up leaving one hooked on a mirage of virtual friends in a virtual world.

Last night I was feeling really down because my life has been reduced to about four locations and almost as many activities. It still depresses me to think about it but I'm not so upset today. I told my boss today that I wanted to cut back my hours and though it was like pulling teeth he did understand and I know my "manager" will like the extra work.

the zine's finished! both versions!

I'm getting good at this, if you want to read it online it should be getting posted to www.vancouverdiy.com/christianradical.htm soon otherwise you can write me an e-mail and I'll get back to you when I can.

it's five in the morning and I want to sleep.
good night

zombies... I like zombies.

2007-03-03T01:38:00.001-08:00

Calling classy zombies of all persuasions for a ...

! Gala Premiere Screaming of "Fido" ! A heartworming film about a boy and his pet zombie...

Thursday, March 15th; show up at 6:30pm SHARP! Paramount Theatre (Burrard and Smithe) - sophistication neon style! Zombies get in free! Hot zombie starlets, suave zombie fellas, and undead big-shots of all kinds are invited to this gala affair. If you're more inclined to be on the other side of the lens, then bring along a camera and a nosey-parker attitude - zombie paparazzi are invited as well, just to make things fair.

Lurch, bike, car pool or cab your way to the red carpet for the premiere Vancouver screaming of Fido, a homegrown Pleasantville-meets-The Power of Nightmares-with-zombies film (more info here: http://fidothemovie.com/ )

If you're coming from work, think day-to-night Barbie, but with more rotting. If you've been sitting in front of a computer all day then chances are you're already half-way there!

If you're unemployed then you should have no problems disguising yourself as an actor...adding zombie to the equation isn't really that much more of a stretch.

Try to keep your oozing to a minimum as the poor ushers at the Paramount don't get paid nearly enough to clean zombie goo from the seat upholstery.

email any querulous grunts and groans to zombiewalkvancouver@yahoo.ca

it's been a hard winter

2007-03-02T00:04:00.000-08:00

I'm completely wiped out.

balancing work at two bookstores and a very time consuming zine has been an act of God, I doubt very much that I could have done as well as I have without my faith but I'm wiped. I miss substantial human contact with people I can talk with, I'm tired of making plans with ppeople who never follow through and then getting shit from them when I don't have the energy to go to their social events.

It's not that I don't want to see people, quite the opposite, it's human contact that I'm yearning for, but what I miss isn't the big impersonal social functions where I don't know anyone and can't carry on a real conversation it's the small groups and one on one human contact that I'm longing for. I'm telling my boss that in two weeks he can give my fridays to someone else but will more time make any difference? I already work part time but I worry that I won't spend that time with friends. I also miss being physically active. this winter my life has been divided between book stores and my bedroom and church. I love my parish and the people I worship with but I have other friends some of whom I havn't seen in a whole year and I don't know when I'll have the chance to.

I go down town and it's like visiting another city, living so far south depending on the bus to get anywhere has been isolating and when I try and talk with people about it I either feel like I have no right to complain or that it sounds trivial. the guy who pulls two full time jobs and raises a family without a spouse has it harder than I likely ever will and the stuff I do is all stuff I believe in and enjoy. I just have no social life most of the time and I miss my friends. I miss being able to go on long night time bike rides by myself, but mostly I miss seeing people.

I keep telling myself that things are getting better, I'm moving out of the house of anger and my land lady advanced me my damage deposit and I'll have fewer hours by the middle of march, these are all good things but right now half the time it feels like I'm passing time and the other half is so ull of the little annoyances that I feel overwhelmed.

Something's got to change, I need to get out and have some time not to think about my life. Every time I look outside and see that it's snowed it feels like I've been kicked in the chest, I'd say I need a vacation but what I need more is just to talk with someone, a break from the routine I've fallen into where I go to work and come home and sit in my room until I go to sleep.

I think that's all I've got to write about right now I don't want to start repeating myself.

good bye internets

2007-02-28T02:55:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the last of the month and that means that I'll likely be without this delightful series of tubes known as the internets. My upstairs housemate is leaving and taking the modem and router and cable TV with her. I'll be moving as well in the coming weeks leaving the house of anger and moving into Samaritan House where there's internet, friendly people, low cost of living and neighbours who like my music and don't care when I play it.

If I have no new posts for a while it's because things are in transit. I'll also be working hard on getting the zine done on time. I've spent probably three hours on it tonight, eyes hurt and I'm feeling punchy. The Damned are a good band to edit to so are Eric's Trip and Guided by Voices.

I'm about ready to collapse.

Soy cheese tries too hard to be real cheese

2007-02-22T23:04:00.000-08:00

There, I said it.

After my innnitial excitement at the possibillity of a cheese-like substance made from soy that I could eat over lent and that I could use as a source of protien and maybe year-round as an ingredient in things (I like cheese) I went out and bought myself a brick of the stuff full of excitement, I almost bought a pocket knife so I could open the package and dig in before I got home yesterday. I got back home and opened the package and discovered much tyo my horror that it doesn't come close, not even close to that abysmal stuff Kraft makes and calls cheese, it was like it wanted to be Kraft singles, but it was too rich and too salty and there was something just not quite right about both the texture and the flavour. I tried very hard to give it the benefit of the doubt, I ate close to a third of the brick hoping that it would just take a bit of getting used to but I'm just not going to be getting used to that too soon. So I'm left with a bunch of soy cheese which I don't want and don't feel right giving to a street person, after all I wouldn't want to eat it and personal repulsion is not a chriteria for almsgiving in my world so what to do with my soy cheese?

I guess this means there needs to be a greater ascetic comittment on my part to the Lenten fast.

goodbye cheese, see you after Easter.

I'm giving a talk!

2007-02-21T02:52:00.000-08:00