living out of a bag is getting old fast

I am so fucking fed up with being homeless. I wish I had never come back to Vancouver, at least then I'd have a good reason for living out of my backpack. I am sick of being stranded in Tsawwassen and I am tired of not being able to look for work much less an appartment because I have no real adress anywhere and getting from here to anywhere is at the very least an hour on transit. I don't like living in my mom's living room and I feel screwed over about the Catholic Worker thing. The worker here is full and I have no idea if I'll be able to even apply to L'Arche because I havn't heard back from them.

Sure I have friends who have offered their places to me but none can put me up for more than a couple of days so it's really getting to feel like I can't settle down anywhere.

I feel like a complete fool for placing all my hopes on this plan, what good is being on the same page as someone in terms of what you'd want to do with an intentional community if that person isn't committed to the same time frame as you?

It's all well and good for her, at least she's got options and I don't want to begrudge her that but where does all of this leave me? It's like the supreme test of my faith and I don't think I'm doing that well because I am having a hard time just leaving this up to God, it's very difficult to just stop worrying about ones survival, where to work, where will I live?

I want to find something to do but don't know where or how to look. I can't go back to the old lifestyle I was living, even if I wanted to the place I had has been totally gutted and my stuff is in storage at my mom's and my brothers.

Like I said, I wish I had never come home.